It seems right now every one I talk to who has adopted an African Angel is questioning that whole "angel" piece.
On Tuesday Akins threw a fit at school so bad that he was kicking things, hitting things and the teachers said they were scared of him. All this because he did not want to go in the "little kids room". Akins is the youngest of a group of 3-4 year olds in his group so when someone has to move to another class it is usually him and they move him to a 2-3 year old group. He hates change and this typically is the thing that sets him off the most. If he had his way he would never leave the house and neither would we. I can only think that it is because this is the only place he truly feels safe.
For this type of behavior I take away things that Akins loves. I am the biggest take away - that means special time with Mommy-O and for us that is story time. So, on Tuesday no story. This leads to my punishment which is a further meltdown but usually after such an episode we can cruise pretty well for a week or so.
Many of my MUAA friends and families have similar struggles we all have our challenges and it seems like of late we are all especially struggling and even questioning our abilities to parent these children. Not sure why everyone has hit the wall right now as we are at different points in time home so I can't attribute it to any one thing. If it has anything to do with full moons I am ready for it to end!
I know Akins was brought to me a woman who NEVER WANTED CHILDREN for a very good reason I just hope I do not screw him up further out of my frustration with some of the things that go on. I try to offer extreme patience but at times it overwhelms me. Lorea has really hit the wall and she struggles daily to remain patient. People try to give advice or say "oh that is normal", but they also do not live it, see it or have to cope through any of it.
In general I am lucky. A couple of the other kids are have a much more difficult time adjusting, the outbursts are often and big and the parents are struggling. For this I worry for them and feel guilty when I feel grateful for the child I have.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
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4 comments:
Yup, my three least favorite words,
"Normal Boy Behavior!"
Ah yes! the challenges.
They vary in type and intensity, but we're all facing/dealing with them.
My cousin told me that in 2 yrs I will see a change, it will all come together.
2 years?!!!!!!!!I guess she knows something I dont.
Our 'angels' will become angels sooner or later.
In the meantime, Val and Lorea, Keep on doing what you're doing.
Akins is a blessed child.
Hang in there! Keep the faith.
Patricia
You guys are doing "awesome"! :) In the grand scheme it is still a new adjustment for you all. I can't even imagine all Akins has taken in since you brought him to the U.S. You and Lorea need to take care of yourselves too!!! Don't forget that part. I know it's hard to make adult time when your priority is Akins, but go get a couples massage or something nice for yourselves!!!! Hang in there. You are doing great! Lisa
You hit my sentiments with the GUILT. We have had difficulties - grief, tantrums, public tantrums or disrespect. Yet, I haven't experienced anything that is totally out of the realm of what I would expect. I hesitate to say this for fear of cursing myself! I also hate to say it because it feels really mean to say "I haven't experienced that, and I really empathize with you." The previous statement is totally true, it just sounds pretty weak to me. Know that I love you all and support you - and I really would take him for a day if I were close enough!
Sharon
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