Akins: For you two being loco
Mom: For being alive
Maima: For school and good grades
Lorea: For having a job to help take care of us
Valerie: For two beautiful, smart kids, for my mom being alive, for a great job that takes good care of us, for my health and for the dogs
We came home from that meal to note that Dolly had seemingly bloated out in her abdomen. I took time to get her to take some water. Fed her hot dogs the only thing she would eat. For those that have met Dolly, you know this is not usual as she would eat anything.
This morning it was even worse her ears drooping and she could barely lift herself. Even still her tail, that cute little crooked tail wagged any time I came near. For years I have sang "the tail on the dog goes round and round" because that is how it seemed, like it was spinning in a circle. I called the vet immediately. As soon as the vet took a look at Dolly, the words no treatment, no cure were said several times. After a few more tests to be sure it was not heartworm (this too untreatable). I needed to be 100% sure this was not due to me forgetting to give that monthly pill right on time. The final blow, 99% certain it is liver failure due to cancer. The bloating, the high liver count, we had ruled out right side heart failure. There were no good choices. Do some really invasive tests to know for sure but still there would be no pain free, reliable treatment. Our best choices, "We can try to make her comfortable or.....".
I knew it was bad, I just did not know I was taking "our baby" in to say good-bye forever. I feel like someone punched me really hard in the chest and I can't get that feeling to leave me. Her bed lies empty, the toy box upright which she never left that for any legth of time, as she knocked it over in her quest for just the right toy, the house eerily quiet without her constant loud breathing, paws dragging on the floor, snoring somewhere off in the distance.
To put the love for this dog in perspective for anyone that does not know me closely. I remember when we were waiting for Akins to come home from Liberia. That horrible forever wait (fellow adoptive paretns you know the wait I am referring to). I remember saying to Lorea as I watched Dolly being well... Dolly just darn cute. "If I love that little boy even half as much as I love this dog, we are in big trouble".
Below are a few photos of Dolly taken this morning just a couple of hours before we left the house. I was playing with my new phone. I don't even know why I took those photos, I'm just so glad I did.
