JUNIOR'S JOURNEY HOME

We Moved!

2011-04-18T17:45:00.001-07:00

I know some of you already know and I apologize for the long lapse in posts but we have been a bit busy. About 7 weeks ago we stumbled on a home that has everything one can imagine and then some, and it was a need to make a decision right now sort of deal. In between my business trips, which have been long and plentiful we bought a house and moved. We still have our other house which needs to sell. We are currently trying to balance both. I have attached photos for all of you who have been asking. These are a few, there are many more needed to be put on here but I just can't seem to find the time to take the pictures and get this done!

Front of the house

Living Room

Kitchen

D-Room

Theater / Safe Room (furniture on order)

Tanning room

Private office with seperate entry and bath

Patio area

Back view ... future pool right there in the middle!

Mom's entry and recently added dogs pens off of kennel room

Moms area is the orginal homestead they just kept building and building forever! (she will be moving too!)

Dogs new barn with runs

Playhouses (1) for each child Akins' comes complete with a zip line!

View of the pond

The Bet

2011-03-07T18:16:00.000-08:00

The new soccer season was about to begin. Once again, Lorea is the coach. So, she lays the bet, one she is certain Akins will never deliver on because generally speaking he is not able to focus on anything long enough to pull it off. $100 if you score 5 goals! What does Akins do..... score 6!!!! The whole team and all of their family supporters were cheering him on.The boys just wanted to see Coach Lorea have to pay up and of course win the game which they certainly did, 7 to 1.

He chose the following items with his money:

A DS game for him. One that will help him read.
A DS game for Maima. A baby sitting game so she can take care of him really good.
A box of Blueberry Cereal for him.
A box of Corn Chex Cereal for Maima (her choice).
Two coconuts, one for him and one for Maima.
Dinner at the "place where they do tricks with fire". Tokyo Garden serves Hibatchi style where they cook around a Habachi grill. Best part Lorea catching the shrimp tail in her mouth, oh and the rice of course! Duh!

The Darndest Things

2011-02-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

On Saturday I made Eggs Benedict....

Akins: "Mommy I think if you made this on the competition you would go to Hollywood".

On Sunday we decided to give Lorea three surprise ingredients and she had to make something from them. We choose mayonnaise, red vinaigrette sugar free dressing and cocoa.

She made two different cupcakes. The first a chocolate mayonnaise cake with almond, cherry and vinaigrette frosting. Topped with a cherry. The second was a chocolate mayonnaise cake with pumpkin seeds, vinaigrette and Chinese Chile frosting. The kids voted that Lorea would go to Hollywood on the spicy one.

Okay, so perhaps we watch the Food Network too much. I also think American Idol is mixed in here somewhere.

Redneck Olympics

2011-02-06T16:27:00.000-08:00

While some people watch the Superbowl on this glorious Sunday, others (us specifically) make best of our blizzard of 2011 conditions and engage in "Redneck Olympics". We head off to the local ski resort where we sled and snowboard!

The local ski resort boasts the most terrifying "Overpass Trail"

One thing missing is the tow rope and/or ski lift

Cars whizzing by on the highway above just add that much more spice to the event

Our sled seems to always out run the inner tubes! First place goes to....

Then there is the snowboard event

and they are off!

Mush Lorea Mush!

Wipe Out!

The tables turn and now Akins gets to be the human dog sled

Mush Akins Mush

and the tow rope grand prize goes to Team Ybarra

Or maybe Team Knupp?

Christmas 2010

2010-12-27T17:18:00.000-08:00

As if our family vacation was not enough (see previous post)I made the fabulous decision to take us all up to Tammy's house for Christmas this year and surprise my sister. Ten hours in the car with 2 kids, 3 adults and a 10 week old puppy (X's 2 that would be 10 hours ... each way). We survived as is apparent of this post. On Christmas day there were 8 kids to open gifts and 11 adults. Pretty full house, beds full end to end and wrapping paper everywhere. The noise level LOUD and yes Tammy was surprised.

Amanda stashing a few last minute gifts under the tree.

Tammy, Maima and Grandma all checking out some gifts.

Christmas morning Bubbles getting the first wrapper off.

Travis giving Grandma a hug

Of course once you get a piece of wrapper off you must eat it!Duh!

Maddie giving Akins a helping paw.

Tyler in his football gear! He is ready now!

A sample of the chaos - wall to wall bodies!

Gotta get a little play time in too!

After all of this you just got to take a nap!

Vacation Recap 2010

2010-12-27T16:13:00.000-08:00

Family vacation. Who's idea was this exactly? I would love to meet this person and try to get a really good understanding of the sadistic mindset that led to this annual tradition. Family vacation, set to the tone of relaxing, fun and exciting. Is really, stressful, tiring and for kids like mine over stimulating and therefore CRAZY! We went to the Dominican Republic. Punta Cana boasts beautiful white sand beaches and tranquil tourquoise water. This is the extent of the relaxing part of the trip. The rest was frought with a pouting temperament by one child or the other at any given time. Lorea and I vowed this to be the last family vacation for a while. We would rather reward Grandma monetarily in a large sum and go on a couple only vacation next year. Here are a few of the better moments of the trip and when I look back at these it would appear that we had a blast. I have not gone through child birth (one obvious reason to adopt) but I am guessing family vacation is much like giving birth. The pain of the moment fades with time.

Enjoying the pool.

Akins skipping off for a dip.

Akins first stop the swim up bar for a cool one.

Akins always makes friends and speaks the international language of PLAY

Maima is a typical pre-teen and can sleep any time of the day any where

Akins always finds coconuts and is plotting how to open it

We rented buggies and spent half the day getting really dirty!

How on earth he could sleep during this is a question never to be answered

Okay slightly awake again!

Cruisin' on down the road!

We all made a friend

Had to make a quick stop at Wal-Mart

Everyone but Lorea took a nice cool swim in the cave

The kids loved it!

Again he sleeps. This time at dinner.

He finds another coconut!

The evening shows were especially fun. Akins getting in on the action.

Dinner on the beach.

Puppy Kisses and Vacation

2010-12-03T20:09:00.000-08:00

As I stated in the last post my heart has been damaged by the loss of my little, white, swimming friend. There is a book called "Chicken Soup for the Soul". Well I have a new one that needs to be written "Puppy Kisses are the Chicken Soup for the Soul". I've lost two dogs in the past few months Zach and Dolly. Beans is nearly 12 and Canola is almost 10. This is a big number in dog years but even more so in Bulldog years. The average life of an English Bulldog is 8. The problem is Dolly's life did not fall in order and it made it very clear to me that I need to continue to prepare for more losses. So.... here comes Bubbles! That's right a bundle of softness and the bonus points? Beans is acting like a puppy all over again. She is loving this new little kid.

Now we are off to the Dominican Republic for vacation some much needed R&R. Grandma good luck with the little one.

Maima: Grandma where are your ice cubes? (looking all around the kitchen)
Grandma: Where do you think they would be?
Maima: Oh (finally going to the refrigerator)

"Our Baby" - Dolly 12/8/02 - 11/26/10

2010-11-26T22:26:00.000-08:00

Upon returning home from Calgary I noted Dolly showed significant weight loss. I made an appointment for her within a couple of days of returning home. Exam showed six pounds lost, blood work indicated liver infection or liver failure. The vet sent her home with antibiotics and some pain meds. We were hopeful. Thanksgiving day we sat at the dinner table at my Mom's house and each stated the things were were thankful for:

Akins: For you two being loco
Mom: For being alive
Maima: For school and good grades
Lorea: For having a job to help take care of us
Valerie: For two beautiful, smart kids, for my mom being alive, for a great job that takes good care of us, for my health and for the dogs

We came home from that meal to note that Dolly had seemingly bloated out in her abdomen. I took time to get her to take some water. Fed her hot dogs the only thing she would eat. For those that have met Dolly, you know this is not usual as she would eat anything.

This morning it was even worse her ears drooping and she could barely lift herself. Even still her tail, that cute little crooked tail wagged any time I came near. For years I have sang "the tail on the dog goes round and round" because that is how it seemed, like it was spinning in a circle. I called the vet immediately. As soon as the vet took a look at Dolly, the words no treatment, no cure were said several times. After a few more tests to be sure it was not heartworm (this too untreatable). I needed to be 100% sure this was not due to me forgetting to give that monthly pill right on time. The final blow, 99% certain it is liver failure due to cancer. The bloating, the high liver count, we had ruled out right side heart failure. There were no good choices. Do some really invasive tests to know for sure but still there would be no pain free, reliable treatment. Our best choices, "We can try to make her comfortable or.....".

I knew it was bad, I just did not know I was taking "our baby" in to say good-bye forever. I feel like someone punched me really hard in the chest and I can't get that feeling to leave me. Her bed lies empty, the toy box upright which she never left that for any legth of time, as she knocked it over in her quest for just the right toy, the house eerily quiet without her constant loud breathing, paws dragging on the floor, snoring somewhere off in the distance.

To put the love for this dog in perspective for anyone that does not know me closely. I remember when we were waiting for Akins to come home from Liberia. That horrible forever wait (fellow adoptive paretns you know the wait I am referring to). I remember saying to Lorea as I watched Dolly being well... Dolly just darn cute. "If I love that little boy even half as much as I love this dog, we are in big trouble".

Below are a few photos of Dolly taken this morning just a couple of hours before we left the house. I was playing with my new phone. I don't even know why I took those photos, I'm just so glad I did.

Returning from Canada

2010-11-20T07:13:00.000-08:00

I got home late last night from my trip up to Calgary. I picked up some shirts for the kids and Lorea. This morning Akins comes to the bedroom with shirt in tow.

Akins: Thanks for the shirt Mommy.
Me: Your welcome honey.
Akins: What does it say?
Me: It says Canada on it.
Akins: What is this?
Me: It's the Canadian flag.
Akins: What is it?
Me: It's a maple leaf.
Akins: Oh, like when something is fake it is a make believe.
Me: Giggle, no honey, it is a "maple leaf" not "make believe".
Akins: Yeah, fake.

Priceless!

It's official!

2010-11-13T21:59:00.000-08:00

Get up early to make the two hour drive to Okalahoma City. The destination? Department of Homeland Security. Now we love to tease the kids about nearly anything. So on the way I tell Maima this is an important day this is to get your U.S. Citizenship and maybe you can shake Obama's hand. We arrive about five minutes early to our appointment, after a couple of additonal requests to empty our pockets we get our way through security we are told to go to room #1 and put our appointment letter in the box at window #3 then take a seat and "they will call you sometime". I'm thinking we will be here forever.

To my surprise the man at window #2 gets up nearly immediately and calls Maima's name. We go up he hands me a certificate with Maima's name and photograph on it and ask me to review it very closely. I am pleased to note they have her new name and birth date all correct. Then he instructs me to fill in "printed, very legibly", her full name on this line, then on the edge of the photograph, then on the back. If you have ever seen my handwriting you would understand why I talk about this in detail. At one point he puts his hand on my arm and says breathe and take your time it must be perfect. Alas, done no mistakes it is unbelivably legible. I breathe another sigh.

Then he hands me another certificate identical to the first one and says, "okay this is the real one, again take your time do not make any mistakes". GREAT! Again, I go through all the steps without error. He gives a big grin and reaches to shake Maima's hand, she had slept in the van and is acting completely disinterested and nearly disrespectful. He hands her an American flag and hands me the certificate and a protective certificate holder. We are done and Maima is officially a U.S. Citizen. We stop to use the restroom and then outside I run to get the camera to take a picture. Maima is nearly refusing to take the photo, still disinterested. A man comes out, obviously Hispanic he walks over and he looks at me, our eyes meet and he smiles. He wants to watch the photo being taken commemorating this proud moment. I can tell he longs for this moment for himself.

Finally, I get a shot and we head to the car. Then I apologize to Maima for not fully explaining the importance of the event. I go into a detailed explaination of how this means she can never be forced to leave America and how people like the man that watched work very hard to get that paper, people run and risk their lives to get into the country and pray they never get caught. How for some people it is all the dream of to be a U.S. Citizen. After about 10 minutes she says "Mommy, where was Obama"?

So, four round trip driving hours and about 9 minutes inside the building Maima is officially a U.S. Citizen and we never did see Obama.

Off to a Halloween Party

2010-11-13T10:51:00.001-08:00

This year was like a 3 day long Halloween event. Friday night a party. Saturday trick or treating at the nursing home (big deal here in little Inola) and Sunday (offical Halloween day) we trick or treated with friends in Grandma's neighborhood.

Iron Man, Dr. Pepper, Cheerleader and Winter Bat Girl

Iron Man!

Grandma getting in on the action - maybe cheer coach?

Maima showing us her cheer moves

Bet the folks thought they had been invaded when this group came a knockin'

Maima's 1st Pumpkin

2010-11-13T10:42:00.000-08:00

For the typical American getting your first pumpkin at the age of 12 would seem like someone really left you out. For Maima age 12 is the magic number she got to carve her first pumpkin this year! Of course it would not be complete if it did not somehow include Justin Bieber.

J's for eyes... B for the mouth and a heart nose!

JDRF Walk for a Cure

2010-10-09T17:43:00.000-07:00

This morning we got up bright and early and took the kids out to do a walk for good! Explaining to Akins the greatness of walking early in the morning is well, let's just say a challenge. We did it and after realizing there was a whole lot of fun stuff to do the kids had a very good time!

The sun was shining it was a beautiful morning!

Akins finding a way to blow some time before the walk starts

The big football toss

Gotta love "Fred"

Akins turns 6!!!

2010-10-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

It's seems unbelievable but it is true... Akins turned six years old. He has a friend on his soccer team that always has his birthday party the same day. For the past couple of years we have overlapped party times causing some of the party goers a conflict. We decided to join forces this year and have the party at a skating rink and invite both sets of friends (some combined) and it worked out great! Here are some of the highlights..

Following the instructions to Grandma's card! Stand on your head!

Pick your nose. He was just about to drink the toilet water when he realized..... OH!!!

How old are you????

Crawling the preferred method of getting across the "slippery floor"

The challenge included tears, anger and frustration

His cake was in the spirit of riding his quad

Maima chickened out and did not skate

Wiggly races

Cole got the last fake rock from the cake

The frenzy

In the end we conquer this challenge!

Mommy: Akins good morning Happy Birthday. Guess what? You are six years old now!
Akins: I know I'm almost seven!
Mommy: Okay, yes in 364 more days you will be seven.

Mommy: Maima why do you not do the fun things you are letting your life pass you by.
Maima: I still have a good life. I am just twelve!

Maima's Official Gotcha Day # 1

2010-08-29T17:06:00.000-07:00

One year ago on August 28th Maima came to live with us. I remember that scared and angry child coming to live with us. She came off the plane in her pretty dress and her white dress shoes that must have really hurt walking through the airport all day. As she was released to me by the airport personnel her face was frought with fear and uncertainty for a new family and the unknown. That long and most certainly scary day is her official "Gotcha" day! It seems a million years ago now as she is so much a part of our family we could not imagine it any other way today. I am pleased to say these days her face is mostly filled with smiles (and braces).

In celebration of Maima's special day we took the quads and ventured beyond our backyard for the first time with the kids. To make it even more daring we went somewhere we have never been before. When we lived in California (pre-kids) we knew all the great places to go and even though we did not have kids we knew the trails well enough to know those that would be great and safe for kids. Here in Oklahoma, it is all foreign and foreign trail riding is scary, especially with kids! Today was filled with a lot of emotion, fear and tears, joy and laughter and victory as the kids conquered things they have only dreamed of before. Lorea and I were both like mother bears protecting our young. Sometimes that included growling a bit to get them to listen (Akins seems to be especially challenged with this lately)so as not to get hurt. In all, we came away unscathed with the kids bragging a bit about how well they did!

A group shot!

Akins looking pretty tough

and all grown up. Okay, maybe not!

All that ridin', dirt and fresh air makes one hungry for bananas!

Gotcha Day # 3

2010-08-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

On August 7, 2010 we celebrated our 3rd year with Akins. This is the day Mom and I arrived in Liberia and in the dark I took this scared little boy away from all he had ever known. It is impossible to explain all we have been through and all that has been learned or accomplished. A friend recently reminded me of the Santa letter I wrote the first year. The letter was intended to support the requests of me and all the other Mom's of kids from Liberia. It was rittled with things like stopping the constant flushing the toilets and incessant needs to flip light switches (without going into detail everyone with kids from Liberia or likely any other 3rd world country know what I am talking about). I have taken that list and revised it to what is remaining on there. Here it is...

• I wish for just 10 minutes each day to elapse without hearing the
bleating cry “Mommy come”.
• I wish to be able to take a shower or use the toilet without an
audience. (working on this one)
• I wish for all hand dryers to be made the same in public restrooms to
eliminate the curiousity as this would be a definite time saver for me.
(we really do need to speak with the manufacturers of these things)

We definately have made much progress!!!

He has gone from.....this sad, scared little boy

to embracing me willingly for our first hug!

to leraning how to ride a scooter during the first week in America

to getting to see friends from Africa all safe and sound in South Dakota just a few weeks after getting here

to becoming an impressive swimmer who can hold his breath forever

to that funny, entertaining boy we all now know

to....this handsome young man!!!

Death by Karaoke

2010-07-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

I gave Lorea a Karaoke machine for her birthday. I know sounds cheesey, but she likes to sing! Of course she is usually willing to share her toys. The singing bug seems to run in the family as the kids will complain when she says she is going to do it, but the next thing I know is I am subjected to 2 to 3 hours of ummmm.... let's call it family entertainment. Akins is below after a long, hot rockin' living room concert.

Being a rock star is hard work!

MUAA Reunion 2010

2010-07-27T17:56:00.000-07:00

Once again we had the pleasure of hosting the annual MUAA reunion. This is my sanity week. The week that I get to find out if I have fully lost it or if things are right on schedule. It turns out I am as sane as the rest of the MUAA members. That puts me in very good company!

The week started out with Tarry (Maima's sister) coming for a little one on one time before the reunion got into full swing. The greeting was frought with anxiety, fear and uncertainty. Both girls were very cautious and it took a little time to warm up. After a quiet start in the car with no one talking I cranked on Disney Radio and soon they were talking music...

A little shy and scared...

Cooling off and having fun!

Silly putty is always good for fun

Sharon's clan arrived first.... and off to the pool they go to do some great tricks

The next morning Sue and Scott and the rest of the group arrived

The kids are funny... pool, tramp, bikes, pool, tramp, bikes, pool....

The little guys hanging in bed

Fashion show night - Left to Right - Princess, Maima, Jemama, Abegail and Tarry

Kids everywhere!

Eman the Muscle Man

Lotion anyone?

Mathew the tour guide on his row boat

Group shot - Left to Right - Tarry, Abegail, Akins, Eman, Matthew, Jemama, Maima and Princess

Scott and the boys playing with the DS

The little guys getting in a few last hugs and punches

Sue trying to sneak one more big sloppy kiss from Akins

Then time to say until next year.....

and one final hug before the doors close and the car drives away... see ya soon!

Family Reunion July 4, 2010

2010-07-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

As is now a tradition we hold a family reunion each year over the 4th of July. My sister comes down with a pack of nieces and nephews and we play and play and play. The story starts with a plan for Tammy to bring Claudia, Shayne, Landon and that's it. But.... when Tammy arrived at my niece's house there stood Aleyia with her packed suitcase. Basically, Aleyia had her own plans, and they were "I'm going". So. there were four! Even still a milder version of last year's events. Amanda is in school so she and her youngest Haley stayed behind and my cousin Paula's son had a baseball tournament the same weekend and well Del and Sondie said "uhhhh, I think we will pass". I think all the kids last year about did them in.

Here are some of the highlights....

The first day it rained, but hey who cares! It's hot. It's wet. Duh!

Shayne and Landon chillin' lookin' like they are wearing lipstick

Tammy and Mom havin' a moment. Mom lookin' like she is ready to make the big escape

Karaoke Night

Shanye looks like he would rather be about any where else

One of the many feasts

How many kids can one fit into a house?

Well, that all depends.

If every couch and chair in your house folds out....

LOTS!

Quads are always a highlight and now we have 4 of them...

Ready for the firework display!

and just plain ole' being silly!

It's Official!

2010-06-26T15:15:00.001-07:00

Maima Hawa Knupp - Born May 9, 1998!

Adoption complete, check....
Birth date changed, check....
Name changed, check...

Valerie mother of two, check..... (two kids I can thoroughly screw up. yikes!)

Now all we have is re-do passport, get new birth certificate that reflects all the changes and order a certificate of citizenship and we are DONE!!!!!

Zachary 12/15/93 - 5/27/2010

2010-05-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

It came time to say good-bye to my dear friend and long-time companion. The kids and Lorea had all grown to love this little man. Until the very last moment he had a free spirit and unbelievable positive outlook. Needless to say we are sad and I will miss him terribly.

As a young man!

Christmas 2009

May 26, 2010

May 26, 2010

Akins Graduates from Pre-K

2010-05-18T15:58:00.000-07:00

There have been times where I wondered if we would make it....

Leading the girl (he didn't want to hold hands with) and the boy who clearly did not want to be there at all...

Singing the Alligator song

That little girl was pulling on his hat and now trying to share his chair

Proof we made it....

Perhaps he has a future as a cobbler??? Shoe repair necessary right in the middle of the event.

Funny Moments -

Maima: "Dude, I am not laughing at you I am laughing with you"
Akins: "I'm not laughing" (points to his face) "Does it look like I am laughing"!

Remember the song by the Village People? -

Akins: "Nacho, Nacho, Nacho man. I want to be a Nacho man".
Mommy: "Hey that's supposed to be Macho Man"
Akins: "What's a Macho Man"? (shrugs) "Nacho, Nacho, Nacho man...."

Not so funny moments -

We have officially lost all potential coolness we ever had and bought a mini van!!!! Lorea dubbed it the "Sienna Soccer Shuttle". This sounds way better than the Mini Van. I swear not in a million years!

May 9, 2010 Maima turns ???

2010-05-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

Well that is the question... we are in the process of trying to get Maima's birth age changed as part of the re-adoption. Maima has a U.S. Birth Certificate that says she should have turned 14 on May 9th but I don't think so. I think Maima is more likely 12 and let's face it, for these kids so severely behind in school the difference of 6th grade or going off to high school as a Freshman is HUGE! Maima is not physically, educationally, nor emotionally 14 so I have requested a review of her age. We had bone analysis on her hands which did put her at 13, but hair growth had her at Stage II Puberty (12) and the othodonist put her at age 11 or 12. Maima wants her age changed so we are hanging onto a couple of supporting statues and a Gaurdian ad Litem (an attorney appointed to ensure Maima's best interests are met). We meet this attorney for the fist time next Friday. In the meantime, we celebrated twelve candles in hopes of getting our wishes met. The final adoption is on hold until this piece is all figured out as it all has to go into the package. Hopefully, within 30 days we will have this resolved so we can finalize one way or another.

Now for the fun part of the birthday. Maima asked for a pink cake with Justin Beiber (teen idol) on it. With her accent it sounded like a pink cake with "just a beaver". For those of you that know me well you know I can be a bit of a terror. This set me off into a couple of weeks of teasing and a struggle over the pink cake with "just a beaver" which always netted this response "no mommy-o not the animal, the boy". So, I had to follow through of course. Therefore, there were two cakes one with a pink beaver (animal - not the greatest rendering) and one with the boy (Beiber). Her big payoff for the tormenting is tickets to "the boy's" concert. This resulted in me getting a practice run of the anticiatped 5000 screaming little girls that I expect will be present that night. Anyone have any tylenol? I know I am going to need it!

"Just a Beaver" cake in pink!

"Oh, you meant the boy"!

Make a wish!

Give the beaver a kiss!

What is inside the big box? An old family trick to pack small things in lots of big boxes.

After box 3...
Maima: "What is wrong with you people"?

After opening 2 more boxes and spending a few minutes trying to figure it out.
Maima: "Are these tickets"?
Mommy: "Yes"
Maima: small pause... lots of screaming, jumping and running around the room.
Mommy: "Do you know what it means".
Maima: "No".
Mommy: "It means you get to go see Justin Beiber in concert".
Maima: More screaming and running around the room!

"Yes"

Loading up her loot!

The Ping Pong Masters

2010-04-11T16:41:00.001-07:00

Some serious playing in the Wii Ping Pong Masters with Grandma!

Maima Gets Braces

2010-04-11T16:29:00.000-07:00

She chose pink, green and blue!

A Note From Maima

2010-04-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

Maima is a very sweet girl and tries very hard to please. She is moody no doubt and can turn the tears on easily as she can get her feelings hurt quickly. The other night after a couple of rough days she left this on the table.

"to my moms I Love you are the Best mom I ever have thank you for all your help you have give me

Love
Maima
Knupp"

As I was tucking her in she said did you see my note. I had not so I replied no. She said go see it then come back. Pretty sweet stuff!

Easter Day

2010-04-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

Easter was fun and a torment all in one. I am always left in the state of wonder over why both kids cannot simply enjoy the day at the same time. Maima had gone to a sleep over and stayed up all night on Friday leaving her exhausted and crabby on Saturday. We went to find an egg hunt and she was nearly unbearable. Then, on Sunday we went off again for another place that was supposed to have a helicopter drop eggs (plastic of course) with candy and prizes. This all went well but afterwards we went to lunch and Maima acted rude in the restuarant and when I reprimanded her she pouted and cried at the table then spent the rest of the day and the next barely speaking. Oh joy! Happy Easter!

April Fool's Day

2010-04-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

Going to try to catch up in order of events.... (I know I suck at blogging these days).

April Fools - I had to teach Akins about this strange tradition and then sent him off to torment the teacher and class. It started with him telling the pre-care center teacher Ms. Kelly she had on two different shoes. Then later we decided to get him back. Some of you may remember the fudge story a year or so back where Lorea pretended it was poop and ate it, leaving Akins in a state of horror. Yes, I know we might need some help. Sticking to the poop theme, knowing how well it worked before, I smeared chocolate pudding under the lid of the toilet seat. Akins ran off to use the restroom and came out screaming saying Maima made a mess! Maima was at a sleep over so clearly this could not have been her issue. Therefore, we carried on about how could "he" have made such a mess. Okay, finally when the anxiety over the whole issue, after chasing him around the house with pudding poop on my hands was too much for the big guy. APRIL FOOLS!!!! I know, more psychological care needed in the future, I get it.

Basketball Jones

2010-03-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

To some of you the title of this post will make sense. To others maybe not so much (song from the late 70's).... anyway Maima was on the Inola Girls 5th Grade Basketball team this year. I was amazed at the aggression that was displayed by these young girls. Here are some of the photos.I must note that it is hard to get good shots when everyone is running, jumping and well sometimes rolling on the ground. Mom, Lorea and I were calling it Basketball Derby. Maima is a good player runs fast and works hard. This has been a good experience for her in learning how to control that BIG temper of hers.

On the court wide open for the pass

Blocking

The reward!

Here is another fun story. One day Maima and Akins decided to play dolls. At first they were playing where each had a doll and they were the mommy or daddy as the case may be. Then Akins decided he wanted to be the baby. So, Maima swaddled him up just like a good mother would and held him in her arms, rocking him back and forth. After a little while she said "Mommy, Mommy-O, I think he really fell asleep". Sure enough, there he was sweet as a baby sound asleep in her arms.

Funny things:
Akins: What's an Eskimo? (conversation about his friend from Alaska)
Mommy: Someone from Alaska. Just like you are an African from Africa. Michael is an Eskimo from Alaska.
Akins: Being and Eskimo makes you electric?
Mommy: Dude, what are you talking about?
Akins: Michael is electric
Lorea: Oh, you mean allergic. (Michael has lots of food allergies)
Mommy: No, being an Eskimo does not make you allergic, Michael could have allergies even if he was from Africa.
Akins: I am electric too.
Maima: Dude, no you are not!
Akins: Uh, huh, I am electric to grass

Akins: Jordan, Jordan, Jordan on the River.

Maima's Court Update

2010-03-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

Court went well on Tuesday. Laura arrived Sunday night as scheduled. Why she came in days before the court date I have no idea. She also never asked for assistance in getting to or from the airport to the hotel and I never offered. Let's just be clear I am not friends with this woman despite the fact that she may believe we are. I, of course,k will always keep it nice because she still has Maima's sister Tarry.

All of that said, my attorney picked up Laura and her grown daughter Buffi the morning of the court appearance and brought them to the courthouse some 20 miles away. She stood before the judge and relinquished her parental rights very willingly. The judge signed the order on the spot, done. My attorney sent me the adoption petition today for review and she will be submitting the petition and requesting a court date for me to appear.

At that point the name change and hopefully the birth date change will be granted. I am requesting a change in birth date to age 11 from 13. We have found some statutes that seem applicable and we are prepared to provide whatever the judge may ask for in supporting documentation. If this is granted it places Maima in the age group she truly is comfortable. A grade level that she can at least tread water in and a peer group with a stature of those that match her physically more closely, not to mention emotionally. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Regardless of the age outcome the adoption should be final soon. Depending on the court date I would guess within the next 30 - 60 days.

Comments -

Maima: Oh dude, your bald head is soft, it feels like socks

Akins: Girls are flowers and boys are trees

Maima's adoption and some fun stuff

2010-02-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

We go to court for Laura to release her parental rights of Maima on Tuesday at 10am. We had to wait six full months for OK to have jurisdiction over Maima. Laura flies in on Sunday and leaves on Wednesday. I will only see her at court. Once this is done we can petition for adoption and have made some serious decisions that will part of the petition. We will change Maima's name from Maima Mopsy Puma to Maima Hawa Knupp. It turns out Mopsy was Laura's mother's name a person Maima never met. Hawa is Maima's biological mother's first name. I encouraged Maima to have a name that had meaning to her from someone she loved or to choose a name that she loved rather than retain a name would likely get her made fun of and one that was given to her by a woman who did not keep her committment to her. In the end Maima chose Hawa. Maima means tranquility while Hawa means desire. Peaceful - Desire. Sounds wonderful, to want some thing in a peaceful way. Lovely. I am thrilled with her choice. The next day when she went to school she took some things with her new name written on them, it was the first time she had used my last name on anything.

Maima: Mommy-O, how many days did the vegatables sleep over?
Mommy: Ummm, I think you mean, are the vegtables leftovers.

Mommy: Okay, it's bedtime, I need my beauty sleep.
Akins: What?
Mommy: Girls need their beauty sleep that's how they stay pretty. Come on Maima you need your beauty sleep, bedtime.
Akins: I need my boy sleep.

Akins writes his first song....

When he comes in his path
and when he gets there
one got hurt on his head
IEG I he got hurt on IEG
and you are believing
When you see a little more or someone's hair
do good and you say LMNOPTMUPKIJKNUDNPO
jingle bells all the way and BOATS

Go ahead knock yourself out, you know you want to sing it!

Wrapping Up! Christmas 2009

2009-12-27T11:06:00.001-08:00

Upon returning home from Mexico we had a lot to get accomplished. A tree, decorating, presents, wrapping and the big event itself. Here is how it all unrolled.

It begins with teaching Maima how to select the appropriate tree.

It's all in the flavor! The one that tastes the best!

The best one sitting out there all by herself.

Felling the tree is a labor of love, grimmaces, hard work and

victory!

We continue by celebrating to holiday tunes...

and ta da, beautiful!

Next a tour of the lights at the Rhema College

Look Mommy-O it says Eman!

Then the introduction of our own holiday tradition. Christmas Eve - Talent Contest!

Akins talent looks like it hurts

Grandma's on the other hand looks cozy as she demonstrates the talent of proper reclining!

Maima's looks a bit painful too!

We awoke to a very white Christmas, with over six inches of snow.

Santa was good to the kids, though I question the accuracy of his naughty or nice list.

Dolly loves Christmas morning and is right in the action. Come on Lorea, let me open it!

The unwrapping frenzy in full swing and in a flash it is over, the house is a mess, and there is more to play with then two kids can focus on.

Funny quotes:

We were eating at the Spaghetti Warehouse and in walk some Po-Po (police).
Akins: Hey, they are supposed to eat donuts!

Mommy: Okay Maima, off to bed you go, you have to get your beauty sleep.
Akins: Yeah and I have to get my boy sleep!

Akins fails to listen more often than not. Maima had said she was going to ask Santa for "bigger ears for her brother". We had told her we could buy pigs ears at the pet store, that they were really big. On Christmas morning...

Maima: Mommy I got everything I wanted, except the pigs ears.

Hola, Si, Bien

2009-12-20T07:48:00.000-08:00

We stepped off the plane in Puerto Vallarta and the first thing out of Maima's mouth was "this feels like home". The kids soaked into this culture and climate as if they were not African's but Mexican's. The weather was 85 and mostly sunny the whole time. Our resort had a kids water park with attendants to watch the kids play all day while offering on the hour activities. The adult area also had on the hour activities so there was a lot of pool games including polo, basketball, volleyball and aerobics to help ward off the calories of the numerous pina coladas ingested.

The staff was awesome and a total part of the experience as they led the pool and kids games then entertained us at night at the hotel club with extravagant shows each evening.

Maima playing water volleyball

Akins would rather be on the beach in the sand than just about anywhere

Chunk me!

Maima and Akins taking a ride through the rain slide

Every time she comes up she is looking for Mommy-o

The kids playing beach soccer

Mexican hair braids (much needed)!

Maima had a girl crush on this resort worker

The lazy river at the water park

Big slides! We had the whole park to ourselves

The kids got to be part of the dolphin show

The sea lion was just two rows below us and there were only 6 other people there! A real close encounter.

Maima enjoying the sand

Maima is not too sure about the giant iguana

Akins on the other hand is loving it

Our new friend! At the cost of $100 Pesos

Deep water piggy back rides

Maima doing the "sexy dance"

Piggy back aerobics

Akins coming up for air

Akins and I ready to jump in and see the fish!

The reaction Maima gave when she thought they sawed her favorite girl in half during the magic show

Adios

Funniest comments:

At the airport
Akins: (Whispering) Mommy-O that lady has black legs and white hands and face.
Mommy: Yes honey she is wearing nylons they are like big socks that make her legs look black.
Akins: Oh. Why?

First School Play

2009-11-21T18:43:00.001-08:00

Akins Pre-K class had a thanksgiving play on Friday. His first play ever. He was a proud pilgrim and his line was "bang bang". They sang several songs and there was a very cute story. All was followed by a reception in his class room.

Boo Ha Ha

2009-11-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

Halloween day was action packed and fun filled. We got up and took off for the Boo Ha Ha festival, trick or treating and parade in Tulsa. Had some lunch came home and got ready for trick or treating in town. This year we took the kids to the Nursing Home as well as Grandma's block. Being soccer mom's has its advantages we are learning from all the other mom's that we frequent games and birthday's with the hot spots.

Maima a beautiful princess bride. She does NOT like anything scary so wanted only to be pretty.

Akins the exact opposite - Ninja man!!

Lovin' up on Grandma

Waiting to get their fortunes told.

How's this for the dynamic duo?

Maima: Mommy-O I am going to ask Santa Claus for a brother who listens.
Mommy: Excellent I hope he grants your wish.

Soccer Star in the Making

2009-10-25T09:49:00.001-07:00

Like most of our Liberian boys, Akins is very athletic and generally out plays the other kids on the field. He scored all three of the goals the team got during Saturdays game. Here is some of the action.

Setting it up...

Look at that form.

Blocking the goal.

Aim for the pocket

and that's how it's done!

Who is Meema?

2009-10-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

Akins: Meema? Meema?
Maima: Akins, who is Meema?
Akins: Meema? (getting inpatient)
Mommy: Meema is your imaginary friend and I let her go out the window so she could walk to school and she never came home. (tried this to see if he would use Maima's correct name - didn't work)
Akins: No, Meema came home she's right there. (pointing to Maima)

I guess we could be asking who is Doria too?

Today the kids found some play money while at the post office trying to get Maima a passport. Here is Akins counting the money...

Eighty, Seventy, Twelvety...

So who is Meema? Maima of course... I now have official legal right to have her in my home. I hired my attorney (something I swore I would never do again) to apply for guardianship. She found a way to get emergency custody and she has contacted Laura (the woman who originally adopted Maima) and told her that she needed to sign an affadavit releasing custody and that in 5 months she would be expected to show up in Tulsa court for the adoption hearing once it is set or we would apply for back child support for 6 months and process her for child neglect. I'm sure that was an interetsing conversation. Needless to say Laura is ready to sign any documents necessary.

Everything is going well with Maima. It has been a tough transition no doubt. Long hard cries for Maima at the loss of a life she thought she had, and a lot of "oh my God what are we doing" moments for us, but Maima is ours for good. Or should I say Meema is ours until Akins can actually remember to say her name and then Maima will be ours for good!

Funny conversations:
Akins: Does Superman have a girlfriend?
Mommy: Yes, her name is Lois Lane.
Akins: Meema, I am superman and you are Lois.
Maima: Ewww, dude (we are rubbing off on her) that is so gross. A brother and sister cannot be boyfriend and girlfriend.
Akins: I am superman and you are Lois.

Akins: Mommy, I need a new girlfriend.
Mommy: You mean you don't want Annie to be your girlfriend any more? (Sue Richardson and me plotting the future).
Akins: No.
Mommy: Why?
Akins: Because I already have a new girlfriend in my class.
Mommy: Ohhhh, you are a two timer! Then you will have to call Annie and breakup with her. She might cry.
Akins: Why will she cry.
Mommy: It might hurt her feelings. Girls don't like it when someone breaks up with them.
Akins: Oh, what's her number?

(Of course, typical man!)

Akins Turns 5!

2009-10-08T16:55:00.001-07:00

The past weekend was filled with a ton of fun! Akins turned 5 and we kicked off the weekend by spending a very long day at the fair.

Maima hugging Akins at the fair while waiting in long lines!

Akins birthday party was a jumping smash!

Giving it a big WHACK!

Maima winding up for her turn

Candy everyone?

Sponge Bob delight!

BIG changes going on... lots of updates and several posts

2009-09-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

When we had the reunion at the beginning of August I learned that a young girl who had lived with Akins in the orphanage in Liberia was potentially in trouble. Trouble in the sense that her adoptive mom was having problems with her (to what extent I did not know) and that the mom wanted her to go to live elsewhere. As soon as I heard this I started digging in to find out more. Well the thing with digging in to find out more is you do find out more and sometimes when you do you don't like what you find. In this case it was obvious that this girl needed help. Her name is Maima she can be seen clear back in the blog when I was in Liberia two years ago. Maima is now living with us and where this is all going no one really knows. Maima is 13 (according to the records) and she arrived last Friday. Maima started school here on Tuesday and so far so good. We are adjusting getting to know one another and have agreed to take it a day at a time. Here are some of the first pictures with Maima in our home.

Our first morning together

Maima in the pool

Are you ready to take my picture?

Maima's diving skills
I did it!

Akins Summer Swim Party

2009-09-05T16:34:00.000-07:00

Akins turns 5 on Oct 1 and the weather is always unpredictable especially this time of year. We decided to have a summer swim party so that in the event his birthday was not so great due to weather he would still have had a good part. Here are some of the highlights.

Float wars

Michael fishing in the Koi pond (this is Akins best friend)

Kimberly was the only girl that showed up (she is planned to be Michael's future wife. At least that is what he tells everyone)

Sandbox Games

Michael and Akins on the trampoline

The Tooth Fairy Comes to Visit

2009-09-05T08:04:00.001-07:00

Akins lost his first tooth and we managed to catpure the Tooth Fairy trying to get out of the house.

First tooth!

The payoff! Bath toys and $5.00 WOW not what I got when I was a kid!

The Tooth Fairy trying to escape!

Celebrating "Gotch Ya Day" # 2

2009-08-09T17:30:00.001-07:00

On August 7, 2007 I walked into the generator lit home to 27 children in Paynesville Liberia. It was late and we had travelled long and far. As we looked into the room where the children huddled around the television the curious little faces turned to look at us. Jessie the agency rep called out "Junior", the children divided down the middle as a small boy made his way through. He came to me and climbed onto my lap and into my arms. The first embrace with my new son, this was in fact the "Gotch Ya" moment.

On August 7, 2009 we celebrated our second anniversary of "Gotch Ya' Day" by going out to dinner and just hanging out. It's hard to believe two years have come and gone what an amazing ride!

FUNNY QUOTES -
Lorea: Get out of my way, step on it, what is the matter with you? (Yelling at a driver).
Akins: Doria relax.

2nd Annual MUAA Reunion

2009-08-03T17:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend marked the 2nd Annual Mother's Unite for African Adoptions (MUAA) Reunion. While going through the adoption process I had the pleasure of meeting many wonderful adoptive families from which the MUAA group was formed. After holding each other like glue through the arduous process of international adoption we vowed to try and have a weekend for the kids to reconnect and frankly for us to share our struggles, joys and triumphs. This year was much smaller in size hindered by the ecconomy, job changes, and second sips from the adoption well, but there was certainly no lack in fun. It would have been wonderful to have all of the MUAA families here but I am pleased to say that I had the distinct pleasure of hosting again this year and I could not be more honored than to have shared my home with these wonderful families. Here are just a few of the highlights...

Favorite weekend quotes:

Akins: Come on Email let's race.
Eman: How come you have a mustache on your back? Valerie: Uh, that is not a mustache Eman it is called a tattoo.
Valerie: Akins what was your most favorite part of the whole weekend? Akins: The foods!
Abegail: How come you never use contractions? Valerie and Lorea: Puzzled look...Abegail: You always say can not and not can't.

The girls catch up

Of course there was lots of swimming

Eman gets a new look

Oh yeah - "you can run faster now"

Mom stop squeezing me!

Akins stop tickling me!

Eman and Sue get air!

Duck, Duck, Duck, Goose - run Sue!

Go team Lorea

Sharon get the ball

Our little muscle men!

Sue and Abegail share a big smile!

Come on Junior let's race!

Yummy, Ice Cream

Eman gives Abegail a little push

Honky Tonk Eman

We be swingin'

Sharon and Lorea telling stories

Sue gets some lovin'

A mean game of foosball!

Abegail and Princess going for the winning point

Faster, faster

Akins favorite part... the food

Apparently ours too!

We want S'more!!!

The last night hanging out by the fire and enjoying the sugar high!

I am a proud mama of chicken eggs that is...our chicks delivered 12 eggs for the event!

A nice group photo before wrapping everything up

Jemama and Akins say their good-byes

and the goodbyes continue Sharon and Mom

Lorea and Sharon

Sue and Lorea

Abegail and Akins

The boys give some "rock"

and the final embrace....until next time

July 4th with Tammy & Co.

2009-08-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

This summer has been actioned pack as usual. My sister Tammy came over the 4th of July as she has done for years with her daughter's Claudia and Amanda. Amanda had her three kids Landon, Aleyia and Haley. Mom of course was here too and then as an added bonus this year my Uncle Del and Aunt Sondie came as well as my cousin Paula and her two kids Corey and Lexi. Very big fun... here are the photos of the crazy wall to wall event.

Del and Paula making the homemade ice cream for Lorea's B-day

Kids all gathered around to see what Lorea got!

Haley it's party time!

Cory getting some serious air compliments of Akins and Lexi

Tammy living like a kid!
Corey waiting his turn for the quad
Lorea crashed and burned
"The Seniors" seeking out some relief from the sun
Setting up to light the skies on fire
The kids playing the color game - Claudia guessing blue
Landon goes in for the ball
Tammy taking the plunge
Paula give Lexi a ride
Who's having more fun Paula or Corey
Uncle Del and Lorea fixing the motorcylce
Sondie... you daredevil
Amanda out like a light
and then everyone goes home and we sleep anywhere

Who's on First?

2009-06-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

Everyday is filled with funny moments that I say to myself in my head I must blog. Pictures are piling up in the camera and my new job consumes me, a venture that looks like it is another good year from completion. But there is this one thing that I must share because it seems to be this circuitous thing we do nearly every day much like the Who's on First riddle. It includes these four words; may, ma'am, man and sir. Seemingly easy stuff right? Well, not so much in this house.

When Akins first came to America we began the process of building in some manners and he very quickly learned to say "may I have....please", then we introduced Ma'am and Sir. BIG MISTAKE and well man is used so commonly it just gets tossed into the fray. So it goes kind of like this...

Akins: May, Ma'am I have some water please sir?
Lorea: Ma'am, may I have some water please? Yes sir.
Akins: Man, I have some water please ma'am?
Lorea: May, I have some water please ma'am? Yes sir.
Akins: Sir, may I have some ma'am water please man.
Lorea: Sir! You calling me sir. Who's sir!
Akins: Mommy-O
Lorea: Mommy-O is not a sir, she's a Ma'am.
Akins: Ma'am I have some water sir?
Lorea: May I have some water please? Yes sir you sure can.
Akins: Man, may I have some water please ma'am.
Lorea: Close enough, yes sir you may.

This goes on everyday. My mother seldom goes into fits of hysteria, unlike my sister and I who will uncontrollably laugh for no apparent reason, was present for this event and was laughing so hard she was crying!

I swear I am going crazy at times!

Why is my nose soft?

2009-05-23T18:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Mom and Akins came to collect me from the airport on return from a week away on business. As we were driving home we have this conversation...

Akins: "Mommy-O why is my nose soft"? (This is something he has asked me on a few other occasions so I was not surprised by the question)
Grandma: "What do you mean? Not hard like ours"?
Akins: "Yours has bone in it". (He pronounces bone like boone - very cute). "Mommy let me feel". He reaches up and pushed on my nose in a few places saying "hard, hard, hard" with each touch.
Mommy-O: "Yep, mine is hard and yours is soft".
Akins: "IT'S NOT FAIR"!
Grandma: "It's not fair that yours is soft and ours is hard"?
Akins: "No it's not fair".

Mother's Day Take Two

2009-05-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrate our 2nd Mother's Day with Akins. I called Mom this morning to tell her Happy Mother's Day and she returned the comment - pretty weird and still somewhat surreal. I'm not sure why since I hear either Mommy or Mommy-O at least 900 times per day.

We had a nice weekend. With two moms we get double the fun. Lorea had her day yesterday with her restuarant pick - yes that's right Sushi. Needless to say Akins was thrilled. Today Mom and I got our pick a steak house. Mom came over and we opened gifts which Akins was barely able to hold his tongue about but with many threats and much restraint he did. Here are some of the highlights.

Lorea lookin' pretty cute

Oh, I know how to get it off Grandma

Grandma's balloon popped and scared every one

Playin' the singing cards from Claudia and Tammy

Big Mother's Day hug

Special card Akins made at school

The school got it right this year and remembered Akins has two Mommies

Our famous Popeye face - Aye Aye

Sexy girls

2009-05-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

What is a mother to do when her son is obsessed with pretty women. We are walking through the mall yesterday and stopped at a kiosk which happened to be perfectly placed in front of Victoria Secret. Akins is looking at the poster that covers the entire store front and says "she's hot". Then he proceeds to giggle after determining that she is clothed in "her panties". It's bad enough with the perfume or makeup counters but lingerie - what are we going to do?

Easter Weekend and Coca-Cola Easter Egg Hunt

2009-04-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

On Saturday before Easter Coca-Cola (mine and Lorea's employer now) had an Easter Egg Hunt at the adopted park that we care for. People from Coke gathered to clean up the park for the first time this spring and then afterwards the kids got to have some fun. Then on Sunday Grandma came over for Easter dinner and Akins went on the hunt for his Easter basket.

Working hard to help clean up the park

Leave it to Akins to be the kid yankin' on the Coca-Cola Polar Bear's tail

After all the work each child got to plant a sunflower seed

Note the eggs poking out of his pockets

We realized later that some of the eggs weren't cooked all the way! YUCK! Slimey mess

After running all over the house he finally hit pay dirt!

The Easter Bunny included a little hockey game

Jesus and Santa are Brothers

2009-04-14T20:44:00.000-07:00

So I come home tonight and Lorea says tell Mommy-O about Jesus and Santa. This is how the conversation had gone earlier. Who knew??

Akins: Jesus and Santa are brothers?
Lorea: I don't know maybe you should ask Ms Misty.
Akins: I will ask Ms Kelly.
Lorea: Why Ms Kelly and not Ms Misty?
Akins: Ms Kelly is my favorite.
Lorea: She is, why?
Akins: Because she gives me food.
Lorea: Why does she give you food?
Akins: So I can not die.

Flying - Baby Chicks - Snow in March

2009-03-29T17:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am going cram a ton of stuff into one post since I have been so lame about keeping this up to date. Here is what has been going on. We went to the Space Museum a month or so ago and Akins got to sort of fly some stuff. Then we got baby chickens and yesterday it snowed.

Space Suit!

Let's Fly Mommy-O!

Don't squeeze!

5 little baby chicks

9:15 yesterday morning

3:15 yesterday afternoon

5:15 let's ride!

His tongue stays out the whole time

Don't eat the yellow stuff

Akins Says a Prayer

2009-03-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

God is good, God is Great, thank you for this food Lorea made. Thank you, praise Jesus and Santa Claus. Amen!

Big Boy Stuff

2009-03-01T12:48:00.000-08:00

I have been traveling a ton. I left last Monday early early and did not get back until Friday at 8:40. Now I leave here again in a couple of hours go to Atlanta turn around tomorrow pm and then fly right back out to Orlando again on Tuesday am where I will be until Thursday night. The last time I went only for two days Akins wet his bed every night and got in trouble at school. This being such a long stint and so many back to back I sat him down and asked him to tell me about his feelings. He told me he was mad and it made him feel like a "bad guy". He is obsessed with the bad guys - African rebels. Nearly every movie, story, or whatever he asks if the people are bad guys. I think he finds it unsettling that the "bad guys" in America can not be seen, thus preferring Africa where at least you know who they are. In any event our talk seemed to help. He and Lorea had a good week with only one bed wet night and no trouble at school. Now if only we can make it through to this Thursday we should be in the home stretch!

Oh and my first parent teacher conference delivered rave reviews. He is on target or above average. They refer to him as the papa bear with the little kids as he enjoys teaching and helping them. He is social and outgoing and freely asks questions when he does not understanding something or why? They also thought his age was spot on despite his height. All in all it was a great report. In the fall he will go to pre-K at the elementary school and will get to ride the bus. Which he is so looking forward to. We're pretty proud of our boy!

Valentine's Day and Girlfriends

2009-02-14T12:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Akins school had a little valentine's party. He came home with a ton of cards and candy. One of the cards prompted him to say that it was from Wyatt's girlfriend which prompted us to say "do you have a girlfriend"? He said "no".
Well Sue and I joke (or possibly plot) about the day Akins will marry beautiful little Annie. So I said "what about Annie, I thought she was your girlfriend"? He said "No, I can not see her". To which I replied "that is because she is far away". He says "she don't wear lippy (lipstick)". Akins has a thing about lip stick. I explained to him that little girls don't wear lipstick but when Annie grows up she probably will. BIG SMILE. Very cute!

American Idol Oklahoma Style

2009-02-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, some might say we have too much time on our hands but tonight American Idol presents in Oklahoma USA!!!

Long delay - lots to say!

2009-02-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

I have been remiss in my posting of late. I guess life gets in the way at times. Work is more stressful than ever, the economy wreaks havoc everywhere it seems. The fiscal year ended yesterday and what was to be a successful month was slammed to the ground by the ice storm causing a severe loss in calls and now what is left is a ton of customers who got cancelled and need service right now! I also was traveling and will be doing more of that in the coming weeks making it tough to stay on top of all duties work and home. Yet in the middle of this Akins always has a few jewels to make me smile that I wish to share.

GUYS AND GIRLS...
Akins: Hey Guys?
Lorea: Hey? What is that all about? And guys we aren't guys.
Akins: Hey Girls?

Okay that makes us laugh.

SIR, MA'AM', MAN, MAY I
Akins: Hey guys, want to play WII?
Lorea: Hey guys, again?
Akins: Hey girls want to play WII?
Mommy-O: How do you ask?
Akins: Man, I play WII please?
Lorea: Man???
Mommy-O: I think he is trying to say may I.
Akins: I said May I.
Lorea: Man????
Mommy-O: Say Ma'am'
Akins: Man
Mommy-O: No, Ma'am'
Akins: Ma'am-a!
Mommy-O: Okay close enough

EVERYONE IS CUTE...
Akins: Dolly is really cute, Zachy is really really cute, Mommy-O is cute, Beans is only a little bit cute....

Ahhh, poor Beans.

IT'S BECAUSE OF MY AFRICA...
Akins was attempting to say something that was not coming out quite right. Lorea is trying to teach him the correct pronunciation.
Akins: It is because of my Africa.
Lorea: What is?
Akins: I can not say it because of my Africa.
Lorea: You mean because of your language? The way you speak in Africa?
Akins: Yes, I can not say it because of my Africa.

Interesting, he actually knows that the language is challenging him.

The Homeless Man

2009-01-17T21:43:00.000-08:00

You have all seen him the man in the tattered clothes with the handwritten sign usually saying "will work for food" in a crooked scrawl that suggests a life of misfortune. I'm not talking about the guy who chooses to just not work but the one who rambles to himself, can't sit or stand still and when you see him you wonder what happended to him. It is obvious that he suffers from a form of dementia whether from a mental wire that has misfired or from alcohol abuse or worse. While in Cancun we decided that Akins mimics this type of person aside from being much better dressed when he becomes overly tired. On several evenings he was so tired from no naps and hard play in the sun all day, that he would venture off into the land of seemingly dementia, rambling nonesense, in and out of clusters that ranged from hysteria to anger and back again all within moments making no sense at all, leaving Lorea and I staring and wondering what was happening. Today reminded me as he began this again while ramped up in anticipation of a friends birthday party. We called it his homeless man state and now have coined it HM seems more politically correct. Now that we have realized that is from lack of sleep and not dementia or something else it's pretty funny to watch. I tried to capture it on video in Cancun so I could share but did not exactly capture the essence of it. Another time as I am sure there will be more.

Cancun 2008 - Akins the Mexican Celebrity and More

2009-01-02T16:17:00.000-08:00

Our trip was mostly perfect. The weather was great, we had no delays in airports in fact even caught a standby and got home 3 hours early, had no major meltdowns during the entire trip and most importantly our 15 year old dog Zach survived the week and has entered another year (a major milestone considering his age and health issues). Akins loved vacation and when asked what part he liked the best he answers "lots". Okay, so no favorite parts just lots of good fun. To lay the trip out would best be done in segments, as it was really quite interesting for several reasons.

Segement One - Akins is now a Mexican Celebrity
Our trip included all inclusive food, activities and drinks at four different resorts, so on night two we decided to venture over to one of the other resorts and attend the weekly welcome show. This happened to be a night of Mariachi music and dancing. Well, at the end of the show they began drawing room numbers for some fairly cheesy prizes for which the winner was to come on stage and in some cases be asked to be a bit silly. The last drawing was you guessed it... our room. So, I shoved Akins off to the stage and he took off running up the steps onto the stage and then "freak out", everyone is looking at him... the music is playing and he is asked to dance. He is frozen in space. "Would you like different music"? the emcee says. Akins nods "Yes". The music stops and "Who Let the Dogs Out" starts pumpin' out very loud! We are thinking, okay he knows this one, but he is still standing frozen and then all of a sudden he busts loose and completely goes crazy on the stage. The crowd goes wild and he continues to dance wild for quite some time! For the rest of the week we were approached by people in large quantities, on the bus, in different resorts, everywhere we go, asking for him to dance, people shaking his hand, women asking for hugs, kisses, you name it! He is the talk of the town. It was unbelievable.

Frozen and Terrified!

Who Let This Dog Out???

Segment Two - The Stalker
Okay, for the first time Lorea and I actually entertained the "notion" of Akins needing a sibling. You know someone to play with while on a trip like this. Ahhh, but not a problem for our kid, he has become a stalker who masterfully has figured out how to join other kids games and make those kids like him so much that by weeks end they are in tears over having to say good-bye. Actually, we were quite pleased to see him figure out how to overcome shyness and socialize on his own. It took a bit of prodding but he figured out how to do this with the boys. Now girls, well next time!

Horning in on a game of basketball with the big boys!

Playing with Antoine!

Antoine and his brothers before saying goodbye.

Playing with Alex from Canada.

Playing with Indy from Sydney Australia

Segment Three - Swim Up Bars
On day three we were laying around one of the pools and all of the resorts have swim up bars so Akins had witnessed this whole thing of swimming up and ordering a drink. He is off in the pool and I said to Lorea "You know I picture him swimming up there and ordering a drink". Well, not more than five minutes later she says "Oh, my God he is up there" I look over and there he was ordering drinks and kickin' at the bar".

The bartender yelled to me "he's asking for Tequilla" (true story)

After placing his order for a Coke.

Segment Four - Church (Scott this is just for you)
Some of you may recall the post a while back where Akins pointed at a Hooters bar and asked if it was a church, to which we said no and Scott (another adoptive parent) had a response that had me dying laughing and I am certain should be a published work. These photos are just for Scott!

Segment Five - The Ladies
It is often we get compliments by people especially women on how beautiful Akins is, but in Mexico it was almost unnerving. The women are completely in awe of him. Touching, hugging, kissing it was crazy! All I can say to really explain this is if I were Akins and I were all grown up I'd move to Mexico!

The working on a free massage.

Getting a free massage.

Segment Six - The Shark
On one of our outings we had the opportunity to meet and well...greet a real live shark. Akins was bounding down into the water before I could even get my shirt off only to nearly change his mind once getting closer and realizing it was big and real. He did it though...

The fear is over!

Belly up!

A little timid here.

Segement Seven - The Yatch
We had the opportunity to go out on a Yatch.

Captian Knupp

Segement Eight - The End
A few extra shots of the fun and adventure!

Water slide - big fun!

Good times!

On the way out to Isla Muerelles (Woman Island)

Snackin' on a lime.

Hey where's my sand castle?

This was a cozy thing to lay out in on the beach. Akins called it a dog bed!

And a beautiful sunset!

HO HO HO - Off to Cancun we go!

2008-12-25T18:45:00.000-08:00

What a great 2nd Christmas for Akins. We opened presents, ate and spent the day playing with toys, mastering our WII balance board skills, talking via web and phone to all the relatives far away. He was thrilled with his gifts but could not focus on what to play with from moment to moment. Santa brought a bike that looks like a dirt bike, Grandma got an RC Quad very cool, Mommy-O and Lorea got him a trampoline, Grandma Karlene got him a camera and some really good friends got him the bug vaccuum, BIG hit - he went outside despite the very cold temp and sucked up everything he could find, returning to show each bug to us one by one. There were tons of gifts from cousins, Aunts and Uncles from the North and West, games, and toys too many to list and more than a boy ever needs. Tomorrow we leave VERY early for vacation in Cancun, Akins will be sportin' a very cool "spidey" suit for the trip! See ya' after the first of the year!

Vroom Vroom!

The jumping thing... displayed by two fingers jumping in the air

High on Akins wish list this year was "lippy" (lipstick), oh but it must be PINK! Lorea you want some?

Can't forget the dogs. Dolly had been smellin' those bones all night long

Boxes make good toys too!

The Knupp's "Big Adventure"

2008-12-21T13:48:00.000-08:00

What started out as a simple trip to the Rhema Bible College to see the lights, a holiday tradition, turned into well, a long journey. The students at Rhema start decorating in August and let me tell you it far surpasses any other place I have seen in my life. Truly a magical experience! Some pictures follow, but I must say they do not do justice. After touring the college it was supposed to be simply back home. For those of you that travelled by car earlier this year or for anyone else who has passed through OK you will note there are turnpikes. The plus to a turnpike is it is usually a well maintained road with higher speed limits. The down side, it costs a pike fee and once you are on you are generally committed for quite a while as there are no turn outs to go back. Well, the adventure is about to begin...we decided to take the Creek turnpike home as it is a fast drop onto the 412 near our home BUT... we missed our turn dumping us onto the turnpike heading to Muskogee. So, now we are stuck for a while. Then the exit for Wagoner comes up and somehow while digging for coins to pay at the turnpike booth and some construction adding to the confusion we managed to miss ANOTHER exit leaving us committed to the turnpike until at least the Muskogee exit 20 or so miles further down the road. While discussing this and while intentionlly getting Lorea spun up about being lost, all the while I know exactly where we are are but am enjoying the toment of it all. Akins begins to get a bit worried about our ability to find our house and says "I miss my dogs"! This left us in hysterics. Okay, bud we are fine just going to take too long to get home. I think we ended up driving a good hour longer than necessary as a result of our errors. Mom and I thought it was funny, Lorea frustrated and Akins fell asleep because it took too long.

Another funny quote:
Lorea: Come on Akins come with me we'll go to the mall and buy a present for Mommy-O, but you have to keep the secret.
Akins: I can not go.
Lorea: Why?
Akins: I can not know.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

2008-12-12T14:16:00.000-08:00

Last year was Akins first real Christmas and certainly his first American Christmas. When we went to the tree farm to get the tree he ran around tasting all the trees. Well, this year guess what???

You taste them again in 2008.
Of course before you can go tree "tasting" you must first choose the perfect wardrobe for this festive event.

Well, and you must be color coordinated!

Once at the tree farm you can then focus on Rudolph and other important tree farm items.

Upon tasting all of the trees and determine the perfect flavor you can then help Mommy cut one down.

Timber!

Then after ensuring no one takes your perfect tasting tree you can rejoice with silliness by sticking toys to your face.

A Visit with Eman, Abegail and Annie!

2008-11-29T16:49:00.000-08:00

What a great day! There is nothing better than watching kids who lived together half way across the world reconnect here in America on safe and loving soil. It was the safety of America and offering love to a child that was otherwise forgotten that made us want to adopt in the first place. Getting to join these kids together again while spending the day in great company, in a welcoming home (thanks to the Richardson's) with people I now consider good friends is icing on the cake! Today we had that opportunity. Scott brought Eman, Abegail and Annie over to visit his folks for the holiday. They are just a short drive away so we piled in the car to head off to spend the day. The kids played hard, laughing, pillow fighting, dragging each other around the floor and like any good friends it is as if time stood still since they last saw each other. Here's what it looked like.

Come here buddy and give me a hug!

It's fun to drag each other all over the house in the sleeping bag!

Major pillow fight. I think Abegail won.

Oh, the prince's crown slips.

It's dress up time. How pretty!

Boy time.

Abegail, Akins and Foxy (being a very good sport) all sliding down together.

What's up?
\
Ladies start your engines!

Abegail, Akins and Eman - Note: Eman checking out the spare tire!!!

Who can climb the fastest?

A quick and hard to capture group shot.

Freedom, Freedom, Freedom....

Come Eman...

Eman negotiating the "borrow" of the VSmile for the ride back to the house.

We were trying for another group shot. What we did get is Akins showing Eman how to play the VSmile.

See - Eman you got it!

Time for hugs good-bye.

Sue - Scott has a better one but the future is in the making! You might get your wish yet - mom-in-law! Introducing the future Mr. & Mrs. Akins Knupp. See that BIG smile? That is following a really big hug!

Bye Abegail!

A nearly perfect day. Only one thing missing...SUE! We sure did miss you!!!! Hope you enjoyed the peace and quiet cuz' let me tell you the noise is enroute back home right now!

Conversation on our way home...

Akins: Mommy, I miss Eman.
Mommy: I know honey me too?
Akins: Why?
Mommy: Because they don't live close enough for us to see them everyday.
Akins: Oh.

VIDEO CLIPS...to follow tomorrow!!

Our Little Super Model

2008-11-23T16:39:00.000-08:00

We went today to get family photos taken. Last time we did this we were shooting for four generations - nightmare! This time it seemingly went very smooth and relatively fast. Here are a few highlights...

Funny conversation- last week Mom and I went shopping and I paid, so Mom needed to know what her portion of the tab was. If you know my mother she needs to know or it drives her crazy trying to figure it out and she wants the answer specific to the penny. She tried to figure it out in the car, but due to discounts 15% on these and 10% on that, was unable to. She tells me you'll have to figure it out and let me know. The next night I remember that I need to sit down and figure this out and the rest goes like this...

Mommy: I have to figure out this receipt before Grandma has a cow.
Akins: Grandma is going to have a cow?
Mommy: Yeah she will have a cow if I don't tell her what she owes me soon.
Akins: She has a cow in her gutty?
Mommy: (laughing) No honey, it means she will have a fit, like this (arms flailing, funny faces).
Akins: Grandma has a cow in her gutty?

Okay, we may have to try explaining this one again another time.

What Happened to the Bad Men?

2008-11-13T16:51:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago we were sitting in the parking lot of the local pizza parlor waiting for Lorea to come back out with our well desereved pizza. Out of the blue this conversation comes up...

Akins: "Mommy-O, what happened to the bad men"?
Mommy: "What bad men honey"?
Akins: "The bad men that killed my Daddy".
Mommy: "I don't know, did you see the bad men?"
Akins: "Yeah".
Mommy: "What did the bad men do"?
Akins: "They killed my Daddy".
Mommy: "How do you know"?
Akins: "I know".

Lorea comes out with the pizza and the conversation ends. Lorea heard the last three sentences and just looked at me like "what the"??? I shrugged as if to say "no idea". It's weird how he randomly says things that seem like little blurbs of memory. If he is having memories and it does not seem like a story when he does this he is serious and focused, then both of his parents are in fact dead. Typically, if he is telling a story he beomces silly and then giggles and the story changes direction and then becomes more elaborate the more he talks about it. This has not been the case when he has talked about his African parents and what has potentially happened to them.

Mr. President

2008-11-06T16:50:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday a history event took place and I was excited as the polls were to begin closing I was anxiously awaiting the rollup of delegate votes. I flipped on the TV and Akins was wondering what the buzz was all about. So, I began to explain to him that we were about to get a new president. The conversation and the following morning went like this...

Akins: What the President do?
Mommy: Well, he is the most important man.
Akins: Why?
Mommy: He runs our country and he makes all the decisions about our country. We are about to get a new president. There are two men trying to win right now. One is Obama and one is McCain and we want Obama to win.
Akins: Why?
Mommy: Because he is a good man that will do good things for our country.
Akins: The other man is a bad man?
Mommy: Well, kind of yes.
Akins: What did he do?
Mommy: He makes bad decisions.
Akins: Who will win?
Mommy: I don't know that's what we are waiting to see and when you wake up in the morning we will have a new president. It's really important and you know he is a black man like you.
Akins: Oh. He can come to my house?
Mommy: No, probably not.
Akins: Why?
Mommy: Because he is really important. When you wake up though we will know who won.

Morning - still in bed and barely awake...

Akins: Mommy, who is the new present?
Mommy: The President? Obama!
Akins: Yea!

After getting ready for school....

Akins: I want to see him.
Mommy: Who?
Akins: The present.
Mommy: Okay, come here let's turn on the TV.
Akins: Where is he? (commentator's tying up the airwaves)
Mommy: Oh, there is McCain.
Akins: He is the bad guy?
Mommy: Yeah?
Akins: I want to see Bama.
Mommy: Oh, there he is, there is Obama.
Akins: He's not BLACK!
Mommy: Yes he is.
Akins: No he's not he's not black.

Since then the past two nights have been riddled with a million more questions and a lot of discussion about blacks, whites etc. Who would have thought a four year old would be this interested in the presidential election! Now that is historic!

Last Name Woes

2008-11-01T16:24:00.001-07:00

Okay, my last name is not the coolest name in the world and in fact it will for sure lead to some teasing. So, who better to set up the expectations than one who has already been through it and heard it all. Right? In trying to teach Akins how to spell his last name there is a very easy way to remember it - let's go through it.

Last name: KNUPP pronounced N-UP seems easy so far right.

Spelling: K N U P P - easy way to remember "can you pee pee".

Just try saying this to Akins. It is sure to send him off the deep end since pee pee has been a source of struggle and therefore trauma. The last thing he wants is this anywhere in his name. He insists it is NOT Pee Pee!

Today - he has been saying things like "Grandma Knupper" He also thinks Lorea's last name which he can barely say, don't even think of trying to spell it with him needs to match ours and therefore should be "Knupper". I guess adding the "er" on the end makes it all better.

In Search of the Great Pumpkin

2008-10-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

Last year we found a pumpkin patch but not the greatest one in the world. This year we found one that had a whole lot of fun things to do! Here are the highlights.

This riding in the wagon business is for the birds I want to run!

How about this one?

Jumpin' Pumpkin'

Got to give Snoopy a hug

Popup Cat video

Wheel barrow mania ...wow this is hard

I don't like that big one...these are a little easier

Weeeeeeeeee

No Fear...Face First

Loads of determination!

Okay, maybe this one is a little too big

Of course no pumpkin patch is compelte without a hay or wagon ride

What's in there?

I can eat this?

A bumble bee pony...WHAT?

Oops! I ran over the cow!

And then....Lights Out!

From the Mouths of Babes

2008-10-21T16:36:00.000-07:00

Three brief but really funny conversations with Lorea:

Akins: What is the white stuff in your hair?
Lorea: It's not white, it's grey.
Akins: No it's white. Where did it come from?
Lorea: When you get old you get grey hair.
Akins: It's not grey it's white.

Akins: I want a sister
Lorea: You want a sister?
Akins: Yeah
Lorea: Where are we supposed to get a sister from?
Akins: Same place you get your son!

Lorea: I'm still hungry I want to eat more.
Akins: You ate too much.
Lorea: What, I did not eat too much. Did you see me eat too much?
Akins: Yes, you always eat too much!

The Chicken Dance and The Hokey Pokey

2008-10-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

Today we went to Oktoberfest in Tulsa. We have never gone before but it looked like fun with the usual food, rides, games and crafts. Well, some of these folks take it seriously getting all dressed up in German or Irish wear and the dancing and music is abundant. As you all have seen Akins loves to dance, and sing for that matter, but recently he has started to get a bit shy which I am disappointed about. Today I learned it is simple to bring him back to his roots of song and dance all we need to do is seek out an Irish or German festival. I had no idea that the Chicken Dance or the Hokey Pokey was such a big deal! Let's just say that after at least 42 times of doing each of these songs I think Akins almost has it and now I too am over being shy about dancing in public. Of course it is at moments like these I am both disappointed (for Akins) and grateful (for me) that we did not bring the camera. Ahhhh - next year!

Dr. Suess is Whacked!

2008-10-17T16:29:00.000-07:00

A while back some friends sent Akins some Dr. Suess books and I read them of course thinking the whole while "what kind of drugs was this guy on"? Akins listened back then and never said a word. Now that he has a better grasp of English he is asking a lot more questions. The other night we made the fatal error of embarking down the Dr. Suess book road again. Here's kind of how it went...

Akins: What's him?
Mommy: A Whump.
Akins: What's a Whump do?
Mommy: Uummm - I'm not quite sure.
Akins: What are you talking about?
Mommy: Ummmm - I'm not quite sure.
Akins: Who's he?
Mommy: Mr. Fox Socks
Akins: He can blow the house down?
Mommy: Ummmm - No that is the Big Bad Wolf.
Akins: Oh. What's a Fox do?
Mommy: Well, he's smaller than a wolf, he's not mean and he lives in the woods.
Akins: Oh. Is he mad? (Pointing to the man in the book who Mr. Fox Socks is trying to get to say all of this nonesense).
Mommy: Yes.
Akins: Why?
Mommy: Because he is tired of Mr. Fox Socks trying to get him to say all those crazy words.
Akins: What's the beetle do?
Mommy: The Tweedle Beetle? Ummmm... he paddles. !$#!%@
Akins: Why?
Mommy: Ummmm....I don't have a clue.
Akins: Why he chunked the Fox into the bottle?
Mommy: Because he mad at him.
Akins: Why
Mommy: Because he doesn't want to say all these funny words.
Akins: How did he chunk him into the bottle?
Mommy: Ummmm...I guess through the little hole.
Akins: How?
Mommy: Ummmm...I don't know it's just a story.

Needless to say story time took a long time and included a few points where he was getting pretty frustrated with this nonesense. Now back to my original question, what kind of drugs was Dr.S uess on? Clearly very strong ones! I think for now we will table the Dr. Suess stories until Akins can understand fully the storyline of a "normal" book. Not to mention I can't get "Two Hump Whumps and Tweedle Beetles out of my head!

Junk Food

2008-10-15T17:22:00.000-07:00

Today I needed to stop and get gas on the way home. Directly across the road was the "evil" Arby staring us in the face. Lorea says "Is it bad that I want Arby's". I told her to think about it while I was pumping the gas. I get back in the car and we are off for the 5 for $5.95 special. $12.91 later we are off to pick up Akins. When he gets in the car we show him the Arby's bags. The conversation then goes like this.

Akins: "What's that".
Mommy: "Junk food".
Lorea: "Smell it".
Akins: "That's not junk food"
Mommy: "Oh yes it is. It's bad for your body but tastes so good".
Akins: "You teasing"?

We get home and lay out our feast. The conversation continues...

Mommy: "Akins, you like junk food"?
Akins: "It's not junk".
Mommy: "What do you think junk is"?
Akins: "Trash".
Mommy: "Very good, so this is called junk food because it is bad for our bodies but it tastes soooo good". It's like putting trash in our bodies".
Akins: "Oh, I like junk food".

Mommy:

The Bread Truck and Polar Bears

2008-10-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here are two pretty funny stories:

THE BREAD TRUCK -

We went to breakfast at the local cafe on Saturday. As we were leaving the bread delivery was coming and the truck was parked with the back roll up door open. As we walked up to our car Akins says "Wow, Mommy look". "Yeah, honey it's a bread truck, do you want to look at it"? So, we go over and look in the back of the truck and Akins says "Sandwiches"! I said "Yeah, the bread truck brings the bread to Sam (the owner of the cafe) and then Sam uses the bread to make sandwiches. Pretty cool huh"? Then he wants to look at the front of the truck which has those sliding doors that you can leave open when you drive. Akins checks it all out and then says "Mommy, I like that truck".

Now a lot of little boys might like this truck, but a little boy who has been deprived of food and who continues to have some food issues like insisting that we take even the oddest of foods home with us in a to go box - like pancakes - no one gets their pancakes to go, well, no one except for us. That little boy REALLY likes the bread truck!

POLAR BEARS -

Most of you have probably heard of that group that seems to be largely comprised of elderly folks who go swimming in the coldest of waters. I mean really cold with ice floating in it for example. This group is called the Polar Bears. Well, I am pretty certain that Akins is warming up (no pun intended) for his membership to that club one day, as he went swmming today in the pool which is registering 70 degrees and he insisted it was warm. One future Polar Bear in the making! Brrrrr! He tried to get Grandma to go but she was not having any of it.

A crack up

2008-10-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

Akins is growing into this really funny and entertaining young boy. Lately most times he laughs at all things, he entertains and he seldom cries, whines or fights us. Is it another honeymoon with battles to come? Who knows but I'll take it. Here are a couple of funny conversations from lately.

Mommy - How old is Miss Kelly? (teacher about 30ish)
Akins - Really old.
Mommy - Oh, is Mommy really old?
Akins - No.
Mommy - How old is Mommy?
Akins - 18
Mommy - How old is Grandma?
Akins - 19
Mommy - Oh, how old is Miss Kelly?
Akins - Really, Really Old
Mommy - How old is Lorea?
Akins - 22
Mommy - Okay if you say so.

Lorea is eating a burrito. I ask for a bite and I take one. Lorea looks at Akins and says look what Mommy did. She took a big bite. He looks at me for confirmation because he did not see it and we all know you can't trust something you did not see.

Akins - She teasing?
Mommy - Shrugs
Akins - Sometimes you take a big bite Lorea and sometimes Mommy not take a big bite

Ha - I'm off the hook!

Akins turns the BIG four!

2008-10-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

Well, hard to believe we are celebrating another birthday with this litle man. He is very proud to be four and says "I don't like three. Mommy, you like three?, Ah-Dorea you like three? I don't like three". So, last year was a full on bash at the house with a ton of people this year split up very differently, first a party with Claudia and Aunt Tammy, then the state fair last weekend, and tonight a nice little party with just us here at the house. Photos following of the big event...

The evening begins with his special requested meal - SHAGETTI AND GREENS!

How old are you???

Eyeballin'the gifts

Oh, but just one more bite of uhhhh....GREENS! REALLY??? Whatever dude!

What could be better than a remote controlled SHIDER?

Make a wish and blow out your PINK candles!

Rob and Big T-shirt - well let's just say Rob and Big are BIG at our house. Of course some require a little censoring.

Hulk boxing gloves - long story behind this I will share at halloween!

Okay, I know I am biased but is this not the most beautiful kid in the world!

The gift of all...Akins chose Ironman over a trampoline. Again, I say WHAT? REALLY? Whatever dude. So, $24.99 vs. $180.00. Excellent!

Possibly a little afraid of the Shider?

The Chase Is On!

Giving Grandma some lovin' before she takes off.

I'm not sure who likes the Spider more Akins or Dolly?????

Note the full on tongue action - yummy spider!

Road Warriors

2008-09-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

Taking after our friends Scott and Sue we have become true road warriors this past month. First the road trip to Illinios. It's like the "red-eye drive", leave late and arrive middle of the night, then stay two days, then turn around and go back! Ugh! It is and has always been my duty as the younger sister to torment (of course, or as Akins would say DUH). And so, suited up and prepared with a plan fitting of just the right amount of trauma we headed off again for South Dakota. This time it was because my sister was about to celebrate a milestone birthday...I won't say which one :)

The planning began back in July while the family was here over the 4th. My niece Amanda and I began plotting and scheming. So, without Tammy's knowledge Lorea, Akins, Grandma and I took off Thursday night driving to South Dakota, true Road Warriors. We spent the night in a castle like hotel in Council Bluffs, IA and drove in the rest of the way on Friday morning to arrive in time for lunch for which Tammy thought she was having with just her kids. As luck would have it my brother-in-law Jim's parents were in town too and so that just made that many more people to add to it. You're getting the picture right! Tammy arrives walks in and jaw drops! SURPRISE!! This was just the beginning of what ended up being a very interesting start to a day that ended at about 3:00 am! I'm not saying what we did but let's just say some of it would need to be censored. Those milestones need life experiences to go with them right? I thought so....:)

Saturday we had a joint birthday party for all the timely birthday's - Tammy 9/19, Claudia 9/23, Sara 9/20, Abbie 9/26, and Akins 10/1. The kids tore the place apart, we ate lots and had a great time. The only down fall - Scott and Sue were not available to hook up during the weekend. :( We missed you guys - next time!

Communication Gap!

2008-09-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

I have been travelling so sorry for being out of the loop and not updating. Things have been relatively smooth sailing which is a good thing. We have discovered one thing that may have been causing some of Akins outbursts and that is a very simple thing called communication. Akins began often saying things like "quiet what" or "rules what" or "hurry what". We just thought it was another way of being defiant because of the way it was stated. Then one night I said "okay quiet time now I love you" and he says "what Mommy-O" I said "I love you" he said "no that other thing". Puzzled for a moment I had to think and then I said "quiet"? and he says "yes, quiet what"? Thinking for a moment I said "What does quiet mean"? He says "yes"? Wow - what a mind blower because I have said this same phrase every night for over a year. So, I explained to him what quiet means. He was satisfied and off to sleep he goes. Since that night and me realizing he has not understood that word this whole time and yet has just rolled along as if he did. Now when he says "..... what" we promptly explain. Also, we have learned to explain before he asks. As we talk about things we say "do you know what that means or do you know what that is"? Based on his response we make sure he gets it before we move on. Interestly, enough since that evening his moods and tantrums have calmed tremendously. My theory is some of his mood was driven out of frustration. I hope I am right.

Labor Day Road Trip to Illinois

2008-09-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

Since Akins came home I have been trying to figure out how to accomplish getting him out to meet everyone in the family. The summer was pretty packed with my sister's annual visit and the AFAA reunion. Taking advantage of the three day weekend,Lorea, Mom, Akins and I took off for a long drive to Illinois. This is where I grew up and still have Uncles, Aunts and Cousins not to mention a lot of friends dating as far back as the third grade. I tried to fit them all into one action packed weekend, we even managed to squeeze in the Children's Discovery Museum. Here are some of the highlighted photos...

Givin' Robbie some lovin'

I will beat you Mr. Bones

Marcus was showing Akins how the tongue works at the Museum

Akins giving Marcus a "little" ride

Playing dentist - perfect timing Akins got his teeth cleaned and x-rayed TODAY!

We loved the air games

I'm not sure who is having the most fun

Milking the cows

Who is that guy with his legs wrapped around that thing?

Akins and Flo (Rob's Mom) takiing a little down time before the feast at Rob's resturant

I think there were 13 of us for dinner. This is Mom's side of the family. Her brother Del and his wife Sondie, my cousin Paula and her husband Chip and their kids Lexi and Cory. Then Rob's Mom Flo, Rob and Marcus and of course us.

Say chesse and smile????

Lorea, what are you up to?

Chip teaching the kids how to sew their hands - big hit!

Chip and more games

Meeting new cousins Lexi and Cory

Getting the Grand tour of Robbie's resturant "Lancaster's" He even got to see the kitchen and meet the chefs

Kickin' it with Robbie and Marcus' dog Banky

Hangin' out with Uncle Robbie

Hold still just long enough to snap - ahhh close enough

Helping Uncle Robbie (my best friend) feed the squirrels

Catching up with school friends

All this meeting people wears a boy plum out

All the girls hangin' out at Uncle Del and Aunt Sondie's house

Chow time

There were a whole lot of stories to tell

Playing with Cory and Lexi

Uncle Del helps Akins brush his teeth

Akins got to meet his very first "puppy" with sharp little teeth and all

Even more fishing and more barbie updates

2008-08-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, today we were determined by golly to catch some fish, and we did! Two little blue gills. I caught them both but allowed Akins to help reel in the second one - the look on his face well, one half excitement and one half terror. I split these looks equally as I really could not tell which was going to win out. In the end exccitement prevailed. I was pleased to see him feel compassion for the fish as this is a major accomplishment - remember there were many months of comments like "I will stomp it, crush it, kill it". He did not like that the fish got hurt and did not want me to use the stringer. We did on the first one because I wanted to get photos and of course we were so certain that we would catch nothing we left the camera in the car. After seeing the first one struggle he said "Mommy-O don't put that blue thing on the other one and then seemed even more pleased when fish # 2 wiggled its way right out of my hands back into the lake. No photos of this memorable event! :(

As for Barbie - he refers to it has his "woman" which apparently I missed this dialogue yesterday while on the phone. So, after Grandma told me about it today I inquired just to see what was up.

Mommy-O: Akins, where is your woman?
Akins: Uhhh, she is in my swimming pants.
Mommy-O and Lorea: Look at each other a bit distressed as he is wearing his swimming trunks.
Mommy-O: What?
Akins: Oh, in my bath tub.
Mommy-O and Lorea: A look of relief.

More Fishing and Barbies Dropping from the Sky!

2008-08-23T21:40:00.001-07:00

Fishing conversation going on:
Mommy-O: When I poke the seenake (worm Akins calls it a snake and says it funny) does it poop on me?
Akins: No
Grandma: Do you poke the seenake?
Akins: No
Grandma: Why not?
Akins: I don't like it. I don't want the seenake to poop on me.

During the reunion as everyone packed up and left Sharon's girls came up missing a Barbie. Sharon was like "h well don't worry about it, cheaper to buy a new one then for you to ship it to us". So, the reunion was what, four weekends ago? Today out of no where we walk out and there is a Barbie laying under the Magnolia tree next to the pool. So the question becomes where has the Barbie been all this time?
Theory # 1 - One of the dogs found it in the yard and carried it up by the pool and dropped it.
Theory # 2 - One of the kids stuffed it into the Magnolia tree and the morning heavy rain made it fall out onto the ground.

Anyone - got any others or want to take bets on the two above?

Akins was just happy to find out that he gets to keep the Barbie and now wants stuff to fix and brush her hair and well she is lacking any clothes so those too are much needed. He also was quite intrigued with the fact that if you put her in the water and squish her face she makes funny noises out her nose. Boys will be boys!

One Year Post Placement - Check

2008-08-20T16:54:00.000-07:00

The post placement study required at 12 months came in the mail today. So, the final requirement for the AFAA adoption agency is complete. Now, annually I personally will file a report for the African government in support of the continuation of African adoptions to American families.

I have but one final task (well besides, baths, stories, school work, dating, cars, sports for the next 15 years and then through college and marriage, grandchildren or grandpets, etc. you get the picture)getting a U.S. Passport so we can travel. I have the docs printed out and completed I just need to make it to the Post Office in Tulsa at some point to apply. Akins has to be present so I have to plan around day care. To ensure this in fact does happen I planned a vacation that requires a passport. That should make sure I get this final task done and then we can just focus on parenting.

One year later still many firsts....

2008-08-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

On August 16, 2007 Junior Babyboy Smith was processed through immigration in Chicago as the newest American citizen. A year later we still have opportunities to have first experiences. This weekend it was fishing. On Saturday we headed off to Academy for fishing poles. I have not fished in decades nor has Lorea. I have an issue with hurting animals, that includes worms and fish, but I will lay it down for the entertainment of this young boy. After practising for a while with the new Scooby Doo pole in the pool we were ready, all we needed were some night crawlers. Sunday, Akins awoke at 6:30am and came into to the bedroom fully dressed including boating shoes and says "Mommy-O, I am ready". Gosh, I wish Monday through Friday was that easy. So, after checking out boat rentals with no luck we went off to some urban lakes. In total we visited three and caught a whole lot of nothing. The fish were smarter than us today, but for Akins you would have thought we caught millions. Following are some photos of the days event and below are some of the funny comments that also came.

After about 50 questions of Mommy-O, what is .... (fill in almost anything and you will get the picture) Lorea jumped in to try and save me.

Lorea: "Honey Mommy doesn't know everything".
Akins: "Yes she do, she knows blue, and red and green and abc and jki"!
Well, that about sums it up!

In between lakes we stopped for lunch and ended up chatting briefly with some women who invited us to their church where there just happens to be some Liberians (so maybe we will go, anyway that will probably be another post). Since we had just discussed church the following occurred.

Akins: "Mommy, is that a church"?
Mommy: "Uh, no honey that is really not a church."
Akins: "Oh, what's that called"?
Mommy: "Hooters".

Celebrating "Gotchya" Day!

2008-08-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

Today marks the one year anniversary (can you believe it) from when I first held Akins in my arms. Mom and I had arrived in Monrovia and then were driven out to the AFAA house to meet this little boy for which I had so far only seen pictures or video. I worried the whole trip about what if he did not like me. As we were driving I inquired and learned that he had told Jessie (the agency rep at the time) that he was going to "sit on his American Mommy's lap" and he had told the other kids to "stay away"! Well, that should have been a clue to the clinging behavior I get these days. He would sit on my lap 24/7 if allowed! We celebrated what we will forever more refer to as "Gotchya Day" by going out to a nice restaurant with Grandma, (compliments of some friends :)) Sorry those photos did not come out it was too dark.

The moment he climbed into my arms.

So, how far have we come? Well take a look, pictures are worth a million words.

That was then ..... Looks pretty sad doesn't he?

This is now ..... Hammin' it up with Kuker at the reunion.

Akins say "Gotchya"!

Frequently referred to a "goofy boy"! Look at that smile!

2008 MUAA REUNION "VIDEOS"

2008-08-06T19:38:00.000-07:00

Okay there are lots of photos I can post of the reunion because there are so many GREAT ones, but nothing shows the essence (noise & fun level) of the time like a video. Here are a few...

The diving contests went all weekend. Eman giving Dora a lift.

Kuker and Eman both take the plunge and everyone is staying cool

Everyone in the pool!

Not even out of the drive and the hayride turns to song. In English and then in Liberian.

Then an African tune. I think the kids would have stayed on this ride all night!

Day # 3 A little more fun and time to say Goodbye...For Now

2008-08-03T20:50:00.001-07:00

The kids walked in and went straight out to play! Everyone had different departures so one by one we watched the families head on their way. The Simons were the first to depart and Diamond would not give Akins a hug but he did hug the jeep - missed the kodak moment though. Next the Richardsons depated and the Nodler-Kreke clan, then the Stewarts and then off to the airport to drop off the Monsons.

The Richardson family from MN

Sue getting her final Big Sloppy Kiss from Akins

Time to say goodbye to Eman

...and Ben

...and the toughest one Kuker

Gormah was sad but managed to pull it together to say her goodbyes

The last supper (lunch) with the remaining kids

Sending Sharon and the girls off

Until next time!

Day Two - 2008 MUAA Reunion

2008-08-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

Day # 2 seemed to go by very quickly. We got some relief in the tent from the 105 degree heat and enjoyed a lot of conversation. The kids swam, had water wars and continued right where they left off day #1. The only difference, about noon the Simons family showed up to complete the attendees. Hey what's 9 more people anyway!

Right back at it!

Sharon, Jemama and Princess from WY

The Chow Hall

Kuker finally gets his turn to drive!

Akins "Let me show you how it works".

"Hey Ben don't you want to swim...Ben? Ben?" Okay, Ben is in toy heaven.

This looks like a public pool. I think I could make some money with this thing.

Gelly - "What's next"?

Florence has hit Barbie pay dirt

Sue being a Mom - hey wait that's not her kid

The dump was a big hit. Get in toss you out, get in toss you out, get in....

There were a lot of dive contests

Grandma Joyce trying to find a safe place in the pool

Diamond hits barbie paydirt

Let the water war begin!

Eman blasts the table and imagine his surprise when the water hit Grandma Joyce instead of Daddy!

The girls plotting against the boys

Sharon giving the little guys a hand

Florence is gonna get her turn on the jeep - oh darn the battery is dead

Sue and Florence getting some lovin'

The MUAA Sisters - Top Row Left to Right - Jessica UT, Sue MN, Shelby KY, Karen UT, Bottom Row Left to Right - Sharon WY, Lorea OK, Valerie OK, Lori KY (not present - Jackie, Pat, Debbie, Tammie, Lisa, Stacy)

The girls attack

Victory

After the homemade ice cream we loaded up the hayride and off we went

Let the songs begin bouncing from American to African and back again

Waving to the neighbors. Wonder what they are thinking?

But all good things must come to and end! It was time to call it a day and head off to rest up for tomorrow.

The 2008 MUAA Reunion is in Full Swing!

2008-08-03T06:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, we are two days in and having a blast. So Day #1 looks a bit like this!

Ishmael Chillin'

Akins handing off the goggles to Kuker

Eman found the bubbles

Sharon and Princess coolin' off together

Jemama, Gormah and Abegail girl talk

Princess and Ben playing a mean game of Minnesota Skinny

Break out the quads and let the chaos begin!

Does Shelby look worried? Little Ben ridin' the quad... Nah!

The girls scocoter race

Sue, Karen and Sharon having a mini MUAA meeting

Karen the unexpected rebel

Sharon most fearful yet unexpected rebel

More girl talk

Scott finally got Sue on board - look at the big grin!

Karen - got room for one more?

Lori and the kids playing foosball

Then day one had to come to a close and it was goodbye until tomorrow

Reunion Countdown!

2008-07-29T18:22:00.001-07:00

I am out of work for the rest of the week and it is crunch time! There are 19 children and a total of 30 people who will be at our home Friday - Sunday to reunite our kids. Of the 19 children 10 of them are kids Akins lived with while in the AFAA house in Africa. This should be a wonderful adventure! Lots to do! Whoooo Hooooo!!!! Sit tight there will be lots of photos to share I am sure!

A scary day in a Mom's life

2008-07-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

This video is from a couple of months ago. It was the day we gave Akins his quad. Before the day was over he had ran it straight into the side of the barn causing some damage to the quad and a little to his ego! He was fine but we had to do some repairs before there was even an hour of ride time on it - first from riding it with the governor so low that it is fouling plugs and second from the crash. Now it's back in the shop again. That's what I get for buying a cheap brand! Oh well first "real" motorcycle what did I expect.

Akins and the Froggie

2008-07-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

This video is pretty cute. Watch the whole thing I cracked up when Akins nearly jumped out of his skin because the frog moved. It is a big deal trying to figure out what to do with him - I'm not sure he ever really did figure it out.

This one is for Sue (Eman's Mom)

2008-07-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

Sue you said you wanted a Big Sloppy Kiss when you got here - well Akins is all warmed up for you! He's been practicing.

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The Protector

2008-07-25T18:33:00.000-07:00

Akins displays the trait of hyper-vigilance which means that he is holding vigil at all times about all things. In some cases it comes off pretty cute. Lorea was with him at Target - giving Mommy a moment of rest so it was just the two of them. They were in the shoe aisle and Akins was in the cart Lorea had walked about 1/2 way down the aisle away and was approached by a sales person. After answering questions about needing any help Lorea walked back to the cart and Akins begins to scold her for talking to a strange man (it was actually a woman) and that it is not safe. Part of this is good because he is getting the concept of stranger danger but unfortunately he does not apply these rules to himself yet will quickly apply them to everyone else. Even still it is pretty cute that he was being that protective.

The Birth Parents - Akins Interesting Tale

2008-07-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

One of the things in the books I have been reading that is very consistent is to begin talking about the things that have caused the pain and thus the need for control as early as possible. The notion that a child needs to be old enough to understand is gone and studies have shown that kids do better with addressing the truth as it is not talking about what has happened that hurts them but what happened that already hurt them. Let's face it they know what happened it happened to them. My challenge has been I am finding opening conversations with a three year old complicated and compounding the matter is the very little information I have about him and his birth parents. Tonight an opportunity presented itself and so this is what came out.

Akins: Mommy you like green?
Mommy: Yes
Akins: Mommy you like yellow?
Mommy: I like all colors. I used to not like orange when I was a girl but I like orange now.
Akins: Why you not like orange?
Mommy: Well, because when I was a girl my daddy was being kind of bad and we lived in a house with orange carpet and I was mad a lot during that time and I think I blamed the orange carpet because I was mad at my daddy, but I'm not mad at my daddy anymore so now I like orange.
Akins: Your daddy dead?
Mommy: Yes
Akins: Why he dead?
Mommy: He got sick from something called lung cancer.
Akins: How he get sick?
Mommy: Well, he smoked a whole lot for a long time.
Akins: My cousins Mommy smoked somethings.
Mommy: Yes Amanda smokes. She needs to stop soon huh? (Amanda hint hint!)
Mommy: Do you remember your daddy?
Akins: I had two daddies
Mommy: You did? Was one the important man?
Akins: Yes, he go away but then he came back - my first daddy go away. The important man used to light a stick on fire and put it on people's head.
Mommy: Now why would he do that?
Akins: Because all the people are bad.
Mommy: What about your mommy - your first mommy in Africa? What happened to her?
Akins: She died (very matter of fact)
Lorea: Did someone tell you she died?
Akins: No.
Mommy: How do you know she died? Did you see her die?
Akins: Ahh yeah. She died on the grass.

Up to this point the story easily supports everything I do know which is so very little. Akins was found wandering alone in the streets of Paynesville a small town outside of Monrovia, by a woman who took him to the police. The police took him to an orphanage but it was a girls home so after 30 days they returned him to the police. The police man Joseph Sagbe who went by the name of Junior took him home with him for another month. After the month went by and he could not find Akins mother he took him to the AFAA orphanage house. Occasionally, he would come to the AFFA house to check on "Junior" the name they gave him in honor of the important man.

Akins: My Mommy died on the grass and the big bird came and took her away.
Mommy: Do you miss her?
Akins: No. (Now he suddenly wants to change the subject and begins pretending to read the TV Guide).
Mommy: You know it would be okay if you felt sad or angry because you missed your Mommy. I would understand that and it would not make me mad.

After a quick glance at my face and eyes he was back into play mode - conversation ended. It's a good first start on what will inevitably be a tough topic going forward and he was so clear.

More on Attachment Disorder

2008-07-08T19:54:00.001-07:00

People who follow this blog have offered support and kind words. Others have expressed their deep interest in attachment issues, and some have thanked me for my candor on my feelings and Akins behaviors. Some have asked why. In an effort to address that question let me just say that this is Akins life story as I understand it and where attachment is concerned (as understand it) the more truths and knowns we share with him the more likely he is to heal from any hurt he suffered during those first three years of his life. That said I will continue to share as I learn so that one day he can understand the "journey" he has taken.

The other night I was reading as I do every night since I got a little wiser and realized I needed to get educated and fast. I wait for everyone to settle in and then I read. I am approaching the close of my second book on the attachment topic. On this particular night, I was feeling helpless, despite beginning to feel a bit enlightened as each page turned. I got to Chapter 8 Page 119 (a page I may need to re-read many times over) in a book called Big Steps for Little People - Parenting your Adopted Child. I read the following: em>>"By now your child is starting to settle. You have kept all of your promises to her and as a way of cementing your relationship have frequently brought this to her attention. She is fed and looked after each day and you are consistently meeting her needs. She has a good sense of what being a part of this family means. She is opening up to you and unconsciously beginning to recognize that she needs you. On the one hand she enjoys being with you and loves her new life, and on the other she is bombarding you with bad behaviour. Any honeymoon period you had is well and truly over. So if you have reached this stage of the process and are tearing your hair out. CONGRATULATIONS! You have created a safe environment for her to express her inner turmoil. She doesn't know it yet and wouldn't admit it if she did, but she is beginning to trust you". As I wept I read this page over and over again. I had known this instinctively and had even stated it but was never certain of it. I know we have a long road ahead. I have questions about how to deal with the unknowns around Akins birth parents that so far the books have not addressed. I know the other families are struggling with many of the same issues. I will not go into those specifics as they are not my story to share nor do they pertain to Akins story but as I read I think oh I need to share this page with X as they just dealt with this the other day. I am grateful for the friends I have met through this journey as at times I am quite certain they are the only ones who truly understand.

Oh what we don't know

2008-07-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight at dinner Akins was singing some song he must have learned from daycare. In it he was singing something about an Alley Cat. Then he says "What's Alley Cat mean"? Okay, so now picture me trying to discribe an alley to him and then how cats live in the alley and eat trash and hang out. He says "how do they get in the trash"? I knew right then it was going to be a long conversation....

1st Fourth of July Celebration

2008-07-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

Every year my sister Tammy brings some of the kids for the week over the 4th. This year was the same with a few additions. It was Akins first celebration and this time my niece Amanda came and brought her two daughters Aleyia and Haley. We spent the week eating (way too much), swimming until the sun was setting every day, riding the quads and dirt bikes and then on the evening of the 4th the everyone lines up while I play fire marshall and let off an aresonal of fireworks! Tammy called this morning from home and said the girls got up and told Amanda "we want to go swimming at Batteries" (read the previous post for clrification on this matter). Sorry girls you'll have to come back to swim!

Claudia playing with those things you throw on the ground that pop/snap

Shane getting in a last minute bonzai jump as the sun is going down

Landon, Shane, Aleyia and Tammy

Aleyia checking out the pool toys

Haley, Landon, Shane and Aleyia playing some game

Haley ready to make a BIG splash

Amanda kickin' it on the side of the pool after a visit to the tattoo parlor

Tammy giving Dolly some lovin'

Akins playing a game with the boys

Sssshhhhhh!

Laughing at whatever the game is

Grandma ridin' her pink donkey!

Claudia and Landon making the track on the quads

Lorea gettin' some air

Everyone start your engines

Grandma Betty, Battery, A Weed and Brother from the Other Mother

2008-07-02T20:43:00.000-07:00

WHAT???

Okay, each year at the Fourth of July my sister Tammy comes down from South Dakota with her daughter and her grandchildren. Long story, but let's just say Tammy had an unexpected child late in life and so she has grandchildren nearly the same age as her youngest daughter. Confused... it's okay, most of the time I am too. Anyway, Tammy's oldest daughter Amanda - mother to Aleyia, Haley and Landon came along with all three kids in tow (Landon has come for several years but this is the first trip for Amanda and the girls). Shane is the son of my nephew Travis and he also comes each year as well. So, head count....with Lorea, Akins, Mom and me there are 11 here right now. Now that we have set the stage here's the story.

My youngest great neice Haley has just turned four so real close in age to Akins. Now, imagine you are a four year old who has only met her Great Aunt and Great Grandmother a few times. Then think about an adopted cousin and another lady with a really unusual name like Lorea and who knows where she fits in to this whole picture. Okay, it goes about like this...

Haley to Tammy "Is Grandma Betty going swimming"? (This would be my mom Joyce - who the heck is Betty)

Haley to Amanda "Where's Battery"? (that would be me, Valerie)

Haley to Amanda "Where's my brother"? (speaking of Akins)

Landon "Yeah brother from the "other mother".

Haley to Valerie "Where's A Weed? (I assume Akins - and reply "He's over there riding his bike")

Haley to Valerie "No - A Weed? (okay I'll try again - "Do you mean Lorea? She's in the house"?

Haley - "Oh" (guess I was right, still not quite sure)

Haley to Amanda "Mom where is A Weed"?
Amanda "What? Who"? (Lorea enters the room)
Haley "Oh" and walks away (mystery solved A Weed = Lorea)

This kid is clearly confused!

Attachment Disorder - What's the Deal???

2008-06-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

This is a long read but hopefully one that will help explain some of the odd posts lately. Okay, let me first say I feel foolish in that I spent a year and a half agonizing over when would my son come home, preparing the house, decorating, fantasizing and not spending my time preparing for what will I do with him once he gets here. In hindsight I would do things MUCH differently. I would read books, go to seminars and talk to MANY other adoptive parents who had already brought their kids home. We are one of the lucky families. We had the joy that many do not get of an adoption "honeymoon" period. The first 5 - 6 months were really quite good! Unfortunately, this falsely led me to believe all was well with Akins.

So, attachment disorder... I have been reading LOTS - and there are many books about why - I got that part, he was starved, abandoned several times, possibly after witnessing his parents deaths and then thrust into the arms of a stranger in the middle of the night (me); there are few books about what to do. The why however is greater than one would think. The obvious already stated, everyone pretty much gets. But, one theory that makes a good deal of sense to me is about the bond with the biological mother. A bond that can not and will not ever be replicated or replaced. A bond that is damaging to the child whether the child is removed from the mother at birth or much later. One might ask how can this be if the child was never nurtured by the mother? The theory is that the bond is actually developed in the womb. So, 40 weeks of bonding, thus even severed at birth without any contact results in attachment disorder. Memories of that mother and her feel can not be replaced and are always present intrinsically. Okay, so that makes sense right? Now what the hell do we do about the following - because these are the symptoms of attachment disorder and Akins suits ALL of them. I have inserted some examples in each.

Symptoms

•Intense control battles, very bossy and argumentative; defiance and anger (over the smallest of things, what to eat, what to wear, I don't want to take a bath I want a shower, I don't like those shoes I want these, on and on it goes).
•Resists affection on parental terms (this is only beginning now with the honeymoon over - demands affection on his terms - I want a kissy right now - I'm driving I can't - freak out ensues).
•Lack of eye contact, especially with parents - will look into your eyes when lying (full on lies and stares into your eyes, yet when we need for him to hear something and understand we say look into my eyes and he will avoid at all costs to the extent of rolling his eyes into the back of his head)
•Manipulative - superficially charming and engaging (people absolutely love him, he is endearing and engaging to strangers, manipulates nearly every situation, it is unbelievable at his age how skillful he is at this.)
•Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers (at first I thought this was cute - he would run up and hug a stranger - a man at the gas station, the guy at office depot etc. this is however the thing that worries me the most because of stranger danger he has no concept, this is also that flirtatious thing I have written about before which I thought was so cute)
•Poor peer relationships - (won't say they are poor but non-existent, he plays mostly alone and he can't remember his classmates names)
•Steals - (this is not often but he has taken things from school - less often so some progress being made here)
•Lies about the obvious (totally can be busted redhanded and then lies usually blaming on the dogs, Lorea or whatever, will only cop to it if given the option of "was it an accident")
•Lack of conscience - shows no remorse - (this was true in the beginning he would do things to the dogs and kind of giggle about it now he does not do it and seems to care if they get hurt. But, he does not appear to feel bad about his bad behavior)
•Destructive to property, self and/or others (mostly self - will hit himself on the head or face, but also will hit and kick the seats in the car, or hit the walls and door, will kick or push against me and Lorea when we are trying to control him)
•Lack of impulse control - (incredibly so - touches everything in any place we go, tell him no and two seconds later he is at it again)
•Hypervigilant/Hyperactive - (constantly on the go and NO SUGAR or it gets much worse - the vigilance is more than the active though - in that he will not stop even when the consequences are big)
•Learning lags/delays - (can not retain things, like ABC's, 123 but is super smart)•Speech and language problems - (resorts to baby talk and often can not find his words)
•Incessant chatter and/or questions -(this one is almost unbearable at times, says Mommy-O for no reason then makes up some nonesene to fill the reason for acting like he has a question to ask. This is described in some of the books as a way to control every conversation - he is constantly interrupting but really has nothing to say. He also needs to be in every conversation constantly asking what are you talking about - also shared in a book)
•Inappropriately demanding and/or clingy - (the clingy is unbelievable specifically with me)
•Food issues - hordes, gorges, refuses to eat, eats strange things, hides food (he has done every one of these, is fearful if he does not eat all of his food, has eaten many bugs, oddly mixes his foods together in weird ways, was hiding food in the beginning)
•Fascinated with fire, blood, gore, weapons, evil - (we do not let him watch anything like this but he often responds to situations like this "I will kick it, stomping, kill it, string it to a tree and light it one fire").
•Very concerned about tiny hurts but brushes off big hurts - (flips out on a scratch but yet never even complained when he had surgeries - did not want the area touched but did not whine or cry about it).
*Parents appear hostile and angry - (yep that fits us)
*The child was neglected and/or physically abused in the first three years of life - (yep all of the above)

Now what to do about it? I am reading a book right now that talks about what worked for one family who adopted two boys. It is called Big Steps for Little People. It has a lot of helpful tips and although the boys in it are older than Akins which means some of the tips can not be applied I am finding tools with which to arm myself. I am also finding some answers as to why some of the kids act on some of the behaviors. Like the eye contact. The older boy in this book said that he was unable to make eye contact because he knew that they would see just how "bad" he really was. Keep in mind the child believes that it is something that he/she did that caused the biological mother to go away. Beleived to be true in nearly ever case - in one book the writer interviewed 100's of adoptees and they all said the same thing. So we have begun to tell Akins that we want to see in his eyes because that is where we find his good. Yesterday, for the first time he looked at Lorea briefly. It's a start!

New carpet

2008-06-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend we went carpet shopping and who would think carpet would rock a kid's world so much. He loved the idea of it but really wanted PINK carpet. We had to pry to pink carpet sample out of his hands. I promised he could have pink flowers in a vase if he let us put a better color in his room. Finally, he conceded. But, all of this carpet business lead to a very heavy day. Grandma was present for the first time to see a true melt down. After an hour of flipping out things finally settled again and so I have bought a half a dozen books and now I read and read trying to come to terms with his demons and anxiety drivers. I have to travel next week four 4 days - not good as this to ramps up the stress. So, as I learn I will share. I know at times others considering adoption read this blog and perhaps what I learn can help someone else. It's a new week and things are pretty calm. The new carpet is in and we are settling back in - the biggest stress now is he is certain all of his stuff is missing. Of course it is not but if he can not find it lickety split then things get a little undone.

The Dump, Shrek and Tyson Chicken

2008-06-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today we were off and running like many Saturday's only a special event was planned first off, the dump. This is a definate favorite for any boy child. Smelly, but fun just the same, he even had to dress for the occasion, cowboy boots with shorts. Oh yeah setting the fashion industry on fire! WE were thankfully able to convice him to bring some sandals for after the dump. On the way there, Lorea and Akins were playing with some toys in the back seat and Akins was talking about his donkey. When he was saying it we took note of the fact that he sounds just like Shrek with his little accent. Finally, the Tyson truck...often when we drive Akins wants to know "what that truck has" or "what that truck is carrying" today it was a Tyson Chicken truck. After I explained to him that it was carrying chicken to the store so we could buy it he says "thank you truck for taking my chicken to the store". Too cute! We are thankful for these cute moments as they get us through some pretty rough roads...

Video from our visit to CA

2008-06-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

Digging for sand crabs

Lorea's sister Deanna and the kids getting gifts from Kaylee and Ashlee's other Grandma. When Akins came home he was showing my Mom the toy that he got in CA and she asked him did you get a gift from your Grandma Carlene and he said "yeah" She asked "what is it" and he said "Doria". Pretty cute!

He can never miss an opportunity to dance!

Akins is always pretty sweet with babies and so he was pretty happy to play with baby Ashlee